I don't want to give the impression that I hate ESPN--I don't. I hate what ESPN has become. So here's a little reminder of the good old days. Note the genius of Kenny Mayne.
23 hours ago
Thursday, September 28, 2006
ESPN Mobile: Dead!
We've been waiting for this news for what seems like ages and now it has finally arrived: ESPN Mobile is dead.
How satisfying is it? Plenty, but you have to follow the link to see the internal ESPN memo describing the news:
It's not a failure, it's an advance!
And if you really, really want to wallow, keep scrolling down into that comments thread. It's priceless. Samples:
Go read the rest. It's classic.
How satisfying is it? Plenty, but you have to follow the link to see the internal ESPN memo describing the news:
we confronted a very competitive sales environment for our MVNO while at the same time attracting significant interest from others to license distribution of Mobile ESPN. Taking all of this into account and after careful consideration, we have decided to change direction and turn Mobile ESPN into a licensed wireless application to be offered by one or more major national carriers. This shift will allow us to get Mobile ESPN's critically acclaimed content to many more fans much more quickly.
It's not a failure, it's an advance!
And if you really, really want to wallow, keep scrolling down into that comments thread. It's priceless. Samples:
Bort says:
ESPN shouldn't kill ESPN Mobile...it has 150 million reasons to be alive.
***
DirtyJersey says:
I heard they had to pry the last two out of Jason Whitlock's mouth.
***
Mitch Comstein, my roommate says:
kim etheridge had this to say:
'espn mobile is not closing down operations... it had an allergic reaction to the reality'
***
Dr.Venkman says:
I heard that ESPN Mobile "inappropriately vibrated" on an assistant at an Outback Steakhouse.
Go read the rest. It's classic.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Tasteless T.O. Update
Galley Friend L.B. sends this snippet from Bill Simmons's chat today:
Jim (NJ): Over/Under: The amount of pill bottles throw on field by Philly fans: 30,000.
Bill Simmons: (3:52 PM ET ) 30,000???? Come on, that's low... each fan will be good for four bottles, 60,000 people, I'm saying the over/under is 200,000.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Opera for Dummies (Parte Due)
Last night the Mrs. and I caught the double-header of Duke Bluebeard's Castle and Gianni Schicchi at the Kennedy Center. First, Gianni Schicchi. Puccini debuted this one-act as part of a "trittico" of three short operas, though this was by far the best and the only to survive. It's a screwball comedy with a simplistic premise: A family in Florence is arguing over a will of a recently deceased uncle and decides to forge a new one with the help of Schicchi, the father of a girl intent to marry into this scheming family. Schicchi is performed by veteran bass Sam Ramey (not to be confused with Spider Man director Sam Raimi). But the star of the evening was soprano Amanda Squitieri, who plays the daughter Lauretta and sings one of opera's most famous arias, "O mio babbino caro." Squitieri, despite her small size, soared in her performance. She is a recent Rutgers graduate, has olive skin, big, bright eyes, and reminds me of a young Teri Hatcher. Yes, I am in love. With the opera!
Duke Bluebeard's Castle is a cautionary tale. It's dark and creepy. It's Hungarian (Béla Bartók's only opera). Bluebeard (played once again by Sam Ramey) brings his new bride Judith (the always alluring Denyce Graves) to his castle--a spacious but forbidding abode. I'm sure Judith figured this place is a fixer-upper, but assuming the market will rebound, she could flip it in a matter of months and move into a nice condo. Bluebeard hesitates, however. He tells her there are seven doors which must remain forever closed.
Nevertheless, Judith demands each one be open. Bluebeard resists but, one by one, allows his bride to see what lurks inside. It's not good: The first door opens to a torture chamber. The second leads to a blood-soaked armory. The third and fourth open to blood-soaked treasure and a blood-soaked secret garden. But the fifth door conceals a magnificent view of the kingdom. Still, Judith is disturbed by the dark clouds (a real shock considering this is Central Europe). The sixth door opens to a placid lake, though the water consists of tears. Prior to the seventh and final door's opening, Judith asks Bluebeard to tell her about his past loves and were any of the women hotter than she (the answer being yes if her name is Amanda Squitieri). OPERA SPOILER: The seventh door is unlocked and out come the ghosts of his past wives. And guess who is about to join them?
Two final thoughts: I guess it could have been worse. The last door could have led to Bluebeard's porno stash or his collection of snuff--very embarrassing. Secondly, the moral of the story is quite clear: There is no need to learn about your spouse's past, so don't ask!
P.S. Interestingly, both operas were directed by William Friedkin, the director of The Exorcist and The French Connection.
Duke Bluebeard's Castle is a cautionary tale. It's dark and creepy. It's Hungarian (Béla Bartók's only opera). Bluebeard (played once again by Sam Ramey) brings his new bride Judith (the always alluring Denyce Graves) to his castle--a spacious but forbidding abode. I'm sure Judith figured this place is a fixer-upper, but assuming the market will rebound, she could flip it in a matter of months and move into a nice condo. Bluebeard hesitates, however. He tells her there are seven doors which must remain forever closed.
Nevertheless, Judith demands each one be open. Bluebeard resists but, one by one, allows his bride to see what lurks inside. It's not good: The first door opens to a torture chamber. The second leads to a blood-soaked armory. The third and fourth open to blood-soaked treasure and a blood-soaked secret garden. But the fifth door conceals a magnificent view of the kingdom. Still, Judith is disturbed by the dark clouds (a real shock considering this is Central Europe). The sixth door opens to a placid lake, though the water consists of tears. Prior to the seventh and final door's opening, Judith asks Bluebeard to tell her about his past loves and were any of the women hotter than she (the answer being yes if her name is Amanda Squitieri). OPERA SPOILER: The seventh door is unlocked and out come the ghosts of his past wives. And guess who is about to join them?
Two final thoughts: I guess it could have been worse. The last door could have led to Bluebeard's porno stash or his collection of snuff--very embarrassing. Secondly, the moral of the story is quite clear: There is no need to learn about your spouse's past, so don't ask!
P.S. Interestingly, both operas were directed by William Friedkin, the director of The Exorcist and The French Connection.
Friday, September 22, 2006
The Pattern Is Full
A moment of silence for the F-14, which the U.S. Navy retired today in Virginia. The Skystriker, er, um, I mean Tomcat, was a tactical fighter jet meant to protect carriers from Soviet bombers. And only few other aircraft shared its swept-wing design (I can only think of the F-111). One of the more impressive stats about the F-14 Sky--I mean Tomcat, was its ability to track 24 targets simultaneously. This especially became useful when, in 1986, a squadron of MiG-28s confronted several F-14s over the Indian Ocean, leading to one of the only occasions where the United States actually engaged in air combat with the Soviet Union. Luckily, our side won though the Soviets denied the entire episode.
Get Your Geek On
An enterprising Florida State professor has done a little web presentation where he zooms from 10 million light years away from earth to the a single oak leaf on the FSU campus to the quarks making up that leaf. It's all here. Just click on the page and watch, you don't have to do anything. Somewhere, Bob Zemeckis is smiling.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wii World
This is the most comprehensive piece I've seen on the Wii. If you have a question that it doesn't answer, then there's something wrong with you. And that's coming from someone with a complete collection of Super Friends Underoos and gem dice.
Law & Order: Artistic Intent
What's better than slash/fiction? Totally ernest fan art dedicated to Law & Order.
Geeky? Yes. Awesome? Very.
What's that? You were expecting an Eagles post? Well I have a witness that when the Eagles went to halftime up 17-7, I said that something very bad was about to happen. They should have been up 31-7. You can't leave points on the field.
Let's just leave it at that, shall we?
Bonus: That would be 0-for-7 in their last seven division games. (And I can't remember the last time they covered.) Get ready for all the happy-talk when they rebound against weak teams for the next month. After that, the deluge.
Geeky? Yes. Awesome? Very.
What's that? You were expecting an Eagles post? Well I have a witness that when the Eagles went to halftime up 17-7, I said that something very bad was about to happen. They should have been up 31-7. You can't leave points on the field.
Let's just leave it at that, shall we?
Bonus: That would be 0-for-7 in their last seven division games. (And I can't remember the last time they covered.) Get ready for all the happy-talk when they rebound against weak teams for the next month. After that, the deluge.
Friday, September 15, 2006
More Wii
I'm more and more convinced that this generation of videogame consoles is going to be a b-school case study for a generation. It features three giant companies all converging on the same space with completely different agendas, and these agendas are what shaped their offerings to the market. As this essay makes clear, Sony is using the PS3 to launch a video format, Microsoft is using xbox 360 to get into the videogame console market, but Nintendo is using the Wii to make money:
It's fascinating, really.
On a side note, it seems that there is an argument for bundling a game with the Wii console, even at the expense of the price point.
Nintendo will make money from every unit of Wii hardware and software sold, according to Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime.
"We will make a profit on the entire Wii proposition out of the box--hardware and software," Fils-Aime told Reuters.
"That really is a very different philosophy versus our competitors. We are a company that competes only in the interactive entertainment space, so we have to make a profit on everything we do."
It's fascinating, really.
On a side note, it seems that there is an argument for bundling a game with the Wii console, even at the expense of the price point.
Grabasstic!
As my colleague Mr. Last mentioned, we were graced yesterday by the presence of Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey who told us about Unmet Needs, a very worthy cause. But after all was said and done, I couldn't resist asking two questions. One, considering the various rumors surrounding his landing the role of the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, what exactly is the truth behind his getting cast?
"I was a technical adviser on the set," said Ermey, who in fact wanted the role for himself, despite director Stanley Kubrick already having someone else in mind for the part of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman. And so Ermey waged a behind-the-scenes campaign of auditioning and interviewing until it came to Kubrick's attention. The director relented, gave Ermey a shot, and was easily won over. (Ermey does not reveal who was the original actor cast for the role.)
As for the dialogue, Ermey wrote most of it himself, "taking lines I used when I was a drill sergeant in San Diego and taking a few other lines from other drill sergeants as well." It was all written down ahead of time, he explains, except for the "reacharound" line. "I don't know where that came from," he admits sheepishly, "and it sort of threw me off, but Stanley liked it and kept it in."
Ermey had argued forcefully with Kubrick over the instances of Hartman striking a recruit. "That would never happen," he insists, except for the occasional subtle jab in the solar plexus.
Now at 62, Ermey is still lean at around 6-feet tall. He came to our office wearing fatigues and boots and has visited Iraq and Afghanistan three times. He looks pretty much the same as he did when he starred in Full Metal, though his eyebrows have gone wild.
My second question was how much he benched. "At my age, I stick to mostly lightweights and work on repetitions, nothing too heavy. I bench about 125."
"I was a technical adviser on the set," said Ermey, who in fact wanted the role for himself, despite director Stanley Kubrick already having someone else in mind for the part of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman. And so Ermey waged a behind-the-scenes campaign of auditioning and interviewing until it came to Kubrick's attention. The director relented, gave Ermey a shot, and was easily won over. (Ermey does not reveal who was the original actor cast for the role.)
As for the dialogue, Ermey wrote most of it himself, "taking lines I used when I was a drill sergeant in San Diego and taking a few other lines from other drill sergeants as well." It was all written down ahead of time, he explains, except for the "reacharound" line. "I don't know where that came from," he admits sheepishly, "and it sort of threw me off, but Stanley liked it and kept it in."
Ermey had argued forcefully with Kubrick over the instances of Hartman striking a recruit. "That would never happen," he insists, except for the occasional subtle jab in the solar plexus.
Now at 62, Ermey is still lean at around 6-feet tall. He came to our office wearing fatigues and boots and has visited Iraq and Afghanistan three times. He looks pretty much the same as he did when he starred in Full Metal, though his eyebrows have gone wild.
My second question was how much he benched. "At my age, I stick to mostly lightweights and work on repetitions, nothing too heavy. I bench about 125."
A Trick Is Something a Whore Does for Money
Matus is too modest to note it, but he has a fantastic piece in the WSJ today on the history of magic and its place in today's culture landscape. Any excuse to write about Ricky Jay is a good excuse.
Bonus tidbit: Who would have thought that Doug Henning gets credit for reviving magic in the '70s?
Bonus tidbit: Who would have thought that Doug Henning gets credit for reviving magic in the '70s?
Wii to Microsoft: Drop Dead
Eagle-eyed Galley Reader P.G. notes a lost detail inside yesterday's Wii announcement:
The Wii is going to let users browse the internet from their TV with Opera! How frickin awesome is that! Why didn’t they just call the console the Nintendo “FU Microsoft”, or “FUMS” for short. Refresh my memory, the Xbox360 still requires connectivity to a media center PC to browse the internet, it’s got no built-in browser, or so I thought.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
UnmetNeeds.com
I just had lunch with this guy, which was about the fourth coolest thing I've ever done. (Warning: Do not click that link if anyone within earshot will be offended by very, very bad words.)
He talked about a charity which is worth your valuable time, it's called Unmet Needs.
Unmet Needs is an offshoot of the VFW and it helps the families of servicemen and women who, with their spouses off fighting our wars, have been left in the financial lurch.
Besides the fact that this is a noble and important cause, it's also one that both sides of the political spectrum should be able to get behind. Conservatives should help because this is crucial to the war effort and liberals should help because the necessity of Unmet Needs is a testiment to the failure of our government to take care of the best among us.
If you can, please help, by either donating money, or volunteering your skills and time. Just click here.
He talked about a charity which is worth your valuable time, it's called Unmet Needs.
Unmet Needs is an offshoot of the VFW and it helps the families of servicemen and women who, with their spouses off fighting our wars, have been left in the financial lurch.
Besides the fact that this is a noble and important cause, it's also one that both sides of the political spectrum should be able to get behind. Conservatives should help because this is crucial to the war effort and liberals should help because the necessity of Unmet Needs is a testiment to the failure of our government to take care of the best among us.
If you can, please help, by either donating money, or volunteering your skills and time. Just click here.
All Hail Lisa de Moraes
She recaps the new Today show:
"I haven't been more excited to come to work since the day Bryant [Gumbel] announced he was leaving!" Matt Lauer replies, and you believe he really means it. If you close your eyes and try to imagine it's still 1991, it's almost as if Katie Couric never happened to the show.
Today it's all about Meredith, starting with carefully orchestrated, good-natured ribbing between the two hosts.
It's still 'Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira,' " Meredith says of their billing on the morning infotainment show.
"I don't think that's going to change," Matt says.
Is the joking over already?
Wii Launch Details
It turns out that the rumors of a $170 Wii were somewhat exaggerated. The official report is now out with Wii launch details and the price point is $250--but that includes a controller and a game--Wii Sports.
The console will hit stores on Nov. 17 and Nintendo says they'll have 4 million units shipped before the end of the year.
Wii will also let you download classic Nintendo games through Wii Channels. You buy 20,000 Wii Points for $20, and then download games that cost: 500 pts. for NEW; 800 pts. for Super NES; 1,000 pts. for Super Nintendo.
There's more. Follow the link and scroll down. Holler if you still live with your parents.
The console will hit stores on Nov. 17 and Nintendo says they'll have 4 million units shipped before the end of the year.
Wii will also let you download classic Nintendo games through Wii Channels. You buy 20,000 Wii Points for $20, and then download games that cost: 500 pts. for NEW; 800 pts. for Super NES; 1,000 pts. for Super Nintendo.
There's more. Follow the link and scroll down. Holler if you still live with your parents.
The New Wonder Woman
Celebrity Voiceovers (cont.)
Continuing our discussion of celebrity voiceovers, last night I saw an ad for "The Coca-Cola Companies" featuring the four-pack-a-day perfection of Angie Harmon.
I can't find the ad online, but I think it was part of Coke's new "Make Every Drop Count" promotion, which seems to be an effort to head off a coming Morgan Spurlockish anti-soft drink campaign. It's kind of creepy: Coke has even launched The Beverage Institute for Health & Wellness, which sounds like it was founded by Nick Naylor.
Still, Angie Harmon's voicework is so good--really, she could make an entire career with those pipes--that I found myself yearning for any number of products from the Coca-Cola Family of Beverages.
I can't find the ad online, but I think it was part of Coke's new "Make Every Drop Count" promotion, which seems to be an effort to head off a coming Morgan Spurlockish anti-soft drink campaign. It's kind of creepy: Coke has even launched The Beverage Institute for Health & Wellness, which sounds like it was founded by Nick Naylor.
Still, Angie Harmon's voicework is so good--really, she could make an entire career with those pipes--that I found myself yearning for any number of products from the Coca-Cola Family of Beverages.
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