Friday, November 30, 2007

The New York Times Does Videogames

This sort of thing drives me nuts because (a) the videogame industry isn't that hard to cover and (b) it's a big enough sector that it deserves semi-serious coverage of its business aspects. But here's Joystiq on a NYT story:

First the Old Gray Lady says Gran Turismo 5 is "a hyper-realistic, high-speed journey, [and] is one of the best sellers for [the] Sony console." One little problem, the game isn't out yet. Next up they say the PlayStation 3 is $299, which would be awesome and perhaps the Times has some incredibly privileged info about Sony's holiday strategy, but we're pretty sure the system is going to be starting at $399 for a while. Oh, but they're not done yet. Did you realize the PS3 and Xbox 360 are both powered by the Cell processor? This is being reported by the venerable New York-freakin'-Times, so it must be true, right?


Goodness knows there's nothing wrong with making a mistake in writing a story. And maybe these errors were inserted by copyeditors and not the reporter. But these errors are so elementary that they suggest that the writer knows very little about the business and is just kind of parachuting in because someone assigned the story to him.

How hard would it be to have one guy on your business staff whose job was to keep half and eye on videogames while he went about his other beats?

Most European Headline Ever

"Britain Schemes To Come In Fourth"

The Empire really is dead, isn't it?

Worst Movie Pitch Ever

KSK is doing a little gag trying to come up with terrible movie pitches. No offense to Big Daddy Drew, but his list is really only a jumping off point. The real gold is in the comments section:

* Bryan said...

We all know Custer died at Little Big Horn. What this film presupposes is: what if he didn't?

* Rob I said...

Air Bud IV: There Will Be Bud

* Robert said...

Face/Off 2, starring David Schwimmer and Adrien Brody.

The Jerry Bruckheimer adaptation of Care Bears: The Movie.

Stephen A. Smith: The Musical


Hot.

Knight Rider Returns, Pluse Justice League Stuff

And there are now pictures of the new K.I.T.T.

Also, if you care, Warner Bros. seems to have cast the role of Wonder Woman for Justice League. It's an unknown Australian model, which is actually as a good a way to go as any, provided shes (a) tall and (b) kind of regal/imperious.

What's that? You want pictures of her? Fine here. And if you're NOT AT WORK here.

(M.G. you should be in the clear.)

Charles Nelson Reilly--The Movie


Call me crazy, but there's something intriguing about The Life of Reilly.

You can catch the trailer here.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Writerly Life

The Great Jane Espenson has an interesting post on the difference between writing jokes for 30-minute sitcoms and hour-long shows:

Half-hour comedies favor what are called "hard jokes." Here's an example of a hard joke, which I adapted from an old episode of Family Ties:

JENNIFER: I told you to run a down-and-in. You were supposed to go to the pole and stop!

SKIPPY: I did. I stopped when I hit the pole.

You'll notice that it's very structured, very lean, and it's all about the words. The set-up HAS to have the words "pole" and "stop" for the punch line to land.

The distinction between this and a soft joke isn't as clear-cut as some writers would have you believe. The same punch line, if spoken with a self-aware wince, would be at home in many comedic hours.

Take out the constructed-sounding wordplay to soften it further. Now can you imagine it in an episode of House?

INJURED PLAYER: I was supposed to stop at the goal post but I didn't.

Dr. HOUSE (examining contusion): Actually, I suspect you did.

The simple fact that House makes a dry joke of it makes it softer. This is another example of that general principle which I've laid out before: broadly comedic characters tend to be serious in their intent. More complex, "dramatic" characters are often consciously making a joke. It's my favorite writing irony.

No Country For Old Men

Saw it yesterday and have some semi-spoileresque thoughts. Please don't read on if you don't want spoilers.

***


First of all, it's pretty good. I haven't read the McCarthy novel, so if you're a devotee of his, you might have a very different outlook on the film as an adaptation. But taken just by itself, it's a fine piece of moviemaking and one that I suspect will improve on repeated viewing.

Some thoughts, in no particular order:

* Tommy Lee Jones deserves an Oscar for his performance. Or maybe a Grammy for "spoken word," because what he does in No Country he does almost entirely with his voice. That may not sound like much, but he's given terse, old-timey Texas words and he delivers them like poetry, only believably. It's kind of amazing. (In particular, Jones is saddled with the movie's opening voice-over narration. It's so hard to keep this device from looking like a device, and the script he's working off of here would sound really precious coming out of anyone else's mouth. He delivers it perfectly.

* There's no score. Until the closing credits roll, the only music in the entire movie is from a mariachi band that walks through the frame at one point. After the movie was over, I found myself keenly aware of how manipulative music can be in the hands of filmmakers who use it to try to spark in viewers emotions that their camera and story can't fully evoke.

* Also, the soundscape is pretty wonderful and made all the more so because of the lack of background music.

* God bless Stephen Root. Is he the most talented guy in Hollywood never to make it really big? I say, maybe yes.

* Kelly Macdonald--you know her from Gosford Park is from fracking Scotland. Here she pulls off a pitch-perfect trailer-trash housefrau. All shades of awesome.

* There's a scene where Josh Brolin is being chased across the open range at night and there's a flash of purple lightening in the distance. It's stunning. Either cinematographer Roger Deakins got unbelievably lucky, or this is the best, least obtrusive, use of CGI this year.

* Anton Chiguhr really is as iconic a character as everyone says. And my favorite bit of writing for him is the scene where he shows up in the gas station, flips a coin, and tells the old proprietor to call it, heads or tails. You've seen this in the trailers, friend-o. Well this is the first time in the movie he flips a coin for someone's life and the off-the-shelf way to write the character is to have Chiguhr kill the first person whose life he flips for. This establishes him as the heavy. (Again, SPOILERS!) Instead, the fellow in the gas station calls it right and gets to live. And if anything, it serves to make Chiguhr scarier and more interesting. It's a great writing decision.

* There's a key scene at the end that takes place entirely off-camera. The movie-geek websites have been debating whether or not this is a cheat or too self-conscious. For me it really works. A lot of things in No Country take place off-camera. In fact, nearly every important plot-point does. (That's one reason I think the movie is probably going to age well.) This big, off-screen payoff feels perfectly in keeping with the rest of the movie.

* Yes, there is one coda too many. But only one. And no flying saucers appear. So that's something.

* Ummmm, where's John Goodman?

* I won't be surprised if No Country and There Will Be Blood are the two heavy Oscar favorites.

Update: Ross Douthat complains that Tommy Lee Jones shouldn't get an Oscar for No Country because he's the third (or fourth or fifth) best performance in the movie. I'd both agree and disagree with him. Josh Brolin should get at least a nom, and Javier Bardem deserves one, too--but I'd put both of them in the Lead Actor category. Jones's performance was, to me, anyway, a supporting role, albeit one that anchored part of the film. Brolin and Bardem are also fabulous.

Also, the further I get from No Country, the more I like it.

Dumbest Get Rich Quick Scheme Ever?

I've been hearing ads on the radio for this for the last few days. You can click through the link if you want, but I'll save you the trouble: It's Armando Montelongo's detailed blueprint on how to make a fortune . . . flipping real estate!

Armando's page advertises a free DVD but doesn't tip us off to how much his "system" will eventually cost. This site suggests the package will ultimately cost $997.

Are there really people that stupid out there? Wait, don't answer that . . .

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

HD DVD vs. Blu-Ray (cont.)

If you care--and it's Christmas time, so you might--scroll through the comments section on this post for some funny (and some interesting) bits.

Carson Daly . . .

Weird relic of the '90s, or scum-sucking scab?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

DCI Tennison vs. Agent Huang

I don't know how it got past me, but here's Malcolm Gladwell getting medieval on criminal profiling.

Not to oversell the piece, but if Gladwell is right, then nearly a third of NBC's prime-time lineup could come crashing to the ground!

Update: Based on the comments, I should make clear that the Gladwell piece is about FBI profiling, not racial profiling. Hence the Agent Huang in the header. And if you read the piece you'll see that Gladwell rests his case on a kill-joy Brit inspector. Hence the DCI Tennison and . . . never mind. Just read it. It's short and it's good.

Sean Taylor, 1983-2007

This morning Sean Taylor died after losing massive amounts of blood when a bullet severed his femoral artery. Under the murkiest of circumstances, authorities will only say intruders broke into his home in Florida where he was sleeping with his girlfriend and 18-month-old daughter. But as others have now spoken out, it is clear this was far from a typical break-in. Taylor's house was previously broken into and the intruder placed a kitchen knife on the bed. (Taylor also had a machete nearby in case of such a break-in.) Stay tuned for more details.

JVL here: Galley Reader, Commonwealth Resident, and Redskins Super Fan P.G. writes:

This is like Jerome Brown: Both were in their primes and both were pro-bowlers destined for greatness. Both from Florida, both played at Miami, both died in Florida in the same area they grew up. Both were well known for something they did at the Fiesta Bowl, Brown for his famous “walkout” at the Fiesta Bowl dinner, Taylor for the phantom pass-interference penalty that gave the title to Ohio State.

It’s days like today that I wished I didn’t love football so much, because this would just be another tragedy in a world of tragedies, it wouldn’t be like losing a friend.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Eagles-Pats (In Game)

This is like watching a live-action version of Madden '07. I've never actually seen an NFL game like it. Almost no punting, or running. Going for it on 4th downs instead of kicking the field goal. Onside kicks. A flea-flicker. A phantom offensive interference penalty. Tons of deep balls. Real NFL games aren't supposed to go like this.

And what about the Eagles? I can't imagine they're going to win. But here's a thought about that line on the game, which crept up to 24 points by last Thursday, the biggest non-expansion team spread in NFL history:

As just a casual observer, I would have probably taken the Pats and 30 points. But if you were a serious gambler, that line should have jumped out at you for one reason:

The line was moving away from the Eagles even though their starting quarterback was unknown. That just doesn't make much sense. If the line was tied to reality, and not just Bradymania, shouldn't it have been in flux depending on whether the Eagles were going to start McNabb or Feeley? It just makes no sense that the line was moving like that without people knowing which QB would start. Because if you thought the Pats were 24 point favorites with McNabb starting, then how many points would you have given them knowing that Feeley would start? (And vice versa.)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Honky Tonk Man

Galley Brother B.J. and I were talking about him the other night, and were wondering if his heel-turn was the greatest turn of all time, or just part of an elaborate plan from the very beginning.

Those who remember Honky Tonk (his Wiki page is engrossing) will recall that he was introduced as a face and not just as a normal face, but as the personal friend of Hulk Hogan. I remember the WWF making a big push to sell him as a face, but it just didn't work. The spots were cheesy and cloying. People hated him, almost from the very start. Really, really hated him.

And then, in relatively short order, they turned him into a heel. (And boy, was he a great heel. He was such a great bad guy that he was able to put Jake the Snake over as a face, which is saying something.)

So was that improvised writing on the part of WWF, seeing a story that wasn't working and going in a new direction? Or was the plan to make him a heel in place from the very beginning? Surely someone out there knows where the definitive account of Honky Tonk is written.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

That Heroes Chick, Star Wars, the "Special" Storm Troopers

Jenny's manservant gives us perhaps the best photo caption of all-time. I beg you to click through the link and read it. Espcially you, Matus. And you, M.G.

Brief Politics Aside

Galley Friend D.B. sends us this story, which should put undecided GOP primary voters over the top: Ric Flair is endorsing Mike Huckabee. On the heels of this Huckabee ad, I'd say we have a winner:

So who would the other logical wrestling endorsements be?

* Brooklyn Brawler endorses Giuliani

* Mr. Perfect (may he rest in peace) endorses Obama

* Hacksaw Jim Dugan endorses McCain

* Honky Tonk Man endorses John Edwards

* Vince McMahon endorses Hillary

* Ted DiBiase (in his Million Dollar Man gimmick) endorses Romney (so does Ted DiBiase in his evangelical Christian gimmick)

* Mic Foley/Mankind/Cactus Jack endorses Ron Paul

Surely you have others . . .

Monday, November 19, 2007

More Strike Stuff

I've written a short piece about the WGA strike and the Democratic presidential candidates elsewhere. In response, one of my WGA friends sent the following email, with some interesting tidbits:

As one of the thousand or so writers who voted not to strike, I can't believe I'm going to [clarify] some of your stats that actually support your argument. While it's true that the Guild minimum is $100G or so for a big-budget script, there's also a fee of about half that for a low budget film; and a lot of writers agree to the lower figure even though they know they're writing a film that's going to be budgeted much higher than the stated budget. The big guys, of course, don't work for minimum, just as the DVD and download revenue streams are written into their contracts at rates far exceeding the minimum being demanded.

Further, the "average" of working writers may be $200G, as you say, but that figure is wildly [skewed], given that there are many, many writers working for several million per script and sometimes three-quarters of a million PER WEEK on uncredited punchups just before production--the kind that the movies that were canceled/postponed recently hadn't yet gotten. So in a guild of 12,000 members, those dozens and dozens of millions will wildly skew the averages.

Then, too, my guess is that no more than a thousand writers are working at any given time. So my estimate is that the average writer (if you throw out the high and low, as in Olympics scoring) earns about $60K--which you'd concur with, I think, if you saw the cars parked on the side streets around the picketing locations.

Herc on SNL and the Great Michael Cera

This is great:

Michael Cera hosted. Yo La Tengo was the musical guest. Horatio Sanz and Rachel Dratch returned alongside Kristen Wiig, Darrell Hammond, Seth Myers, Amy Poehler, Kenan Thompson, Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis and Will Forte for super-dirty sketches written by the SNL writers.

It was broadcast nowhere. Proceeds from the live event went to support “Saturday Night Live” crew members laid off due to the 2-week-old writers strike.


Talk you off what, Pop-Pop?

NFL News and Notes

Still working on that Heroes post . . .

But in the meantime, a couple NFL thoughts. First off, I don't think Chicago should be worried in the least about Donovan McNabb's health. He's going to be ready to start for them next season, and, unlike this season, he'll be at 100%.

(Pained aside: Over the weekend, I mentioned to the Galley Wife that McNabb left the Miami game with an injury. The Galley Wife knows absolutely nothing about football. She replied, without missing a beat, "Well, it is that time of year." Ouch.)

But let's back up and talk about next week for a second. What's the line on the Eagles-Pats game going to be? +20? +25? Would you take the Birds +27? I wouldn't. And here's my great hope for the Pats: At the end of the regular season, when they set their playoff roster, they cut the punter. That's right. Go into the playoffs without one on the team. Pick up an extra fullback, maybe. Maybe just leave the slot open. Whatever. It would be the perfect punctuation point to end this statement season and would cement Belichek, officially, as the most hated coach in the history of the game.

Also, it would be kind of awesome.

Finally, on the way to work this morning, Redskins talk radio was buzzing about the team's second straight division loss, which dropped them to the .500 mark and might have put them out of the playoffs. The overall impression from hosts and listeners was . . .

*What a great game!

*The Skins are better than we thought, even!

* Except for those three long TD passes, they totally shut down Dallas's offense, which is amazing! (This is nearly an exact quote from one of the analysts.)

The general mood was giddy excitement, with most of the people I heard predicting that the Skins would use this as a springboard to run the table the rest of the way.

I'm from Philadelphia, so I obviously don't understand what "normal" is, but this strikes me as at least as psychotic as booing your team during the first quarter of the first game of the season.

Weird

This is a strange story. Who knew they needed writers to make Justice League?