Friday, November 17, 2006

Watch Porn

The noun, not the verb.

Has anyone else out there caught the new Franck Muller Aeternitas? Here's a quick look:



If you're at all into mechanical watches, here's the rub: This monster has a perpetual calender based on a 1,000 year cycle. And it has, by my count, ten complications. Very nearly worth the [pause, lift pinky to corner of mouth] One meeelllion dollars!

I first came across the Aeternitas in the NYT's October annual watch supplement to their Sunday magazine, which is so pornographic that it should probably be illegal. It's one of the few bits of casual reading that can make you look down on a Patek Philippe (Precise!). But my favorite part of this year's issue is the back page, which cautions people against the evils of counterfeit watches. What makes it interesting, is how they try to reach readers.

The essay opens with a cautionary tale:
The woman was in tears, standing in the Cartier boutique. She had brought her prized Cartier watch in for service only to be told it couldn't be repaired. No, it wasn't broken beyond repair. It was counterfeit.

Aha! Imagine the shame of having been exposed--right there in the middle of Cartier--as having bought a fake? Of not having enough money to buy a real Cartier! The embarrassment! The humiliation! How could you ever again show your face in Nieman's?

A few paragraphs later, the author cautions:
Bottom line, if a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Walk away. We buy watches for a number of reasons--for how they feel on our wrists, how they make us feel and for the statement they make to other people. If you buy a counterfeit watch, what does that say about you?

It's like a Bobo version of the '50s film reels on social diseases. Only grosser.

Makes me wish I could buy a fake Aeternitas.

3 comments:

James Wigderson said...

How many people even wear watches anymore? I was having drinks with friends before a conference when someone came up to our table and asked us the correct time. All four of us pulled out our cell phones to give the answer.

Anonymous said...

And I could have the answer in 1/4 the time with my watch...

Does the Muller include a private security detail? Or, being swiss, the least they could do is throw in a sig-sauer or an H&K because when the word gets out, you're a marked man.

Cliff M. said...

Cool watch, 1000 year cycle thats a lot. I once saw a million dollar car in russia, you better believe the guy had two hot girls and three body guards, two watching the car.