Friday, June 02, 2006

There Are Motherfuckin' Snakes on the Motherfuckin' Plane

For real:
Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane's instrument panel — a 4 1/2-foot black snake.

Coles had left Charleston earlier for a leisurely flight over the West Virginia countryside last Saturday in his Piper Cherokee and was preparing to land in Gallipolis, Ohio, when the snake revealed itself.

"Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this," the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident said. But the advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor immediately came to mind: "No matter what happens, fly the plane."

An attempt to swat the snake only resulted in it falling to Coles' feet under the rudder pedals. It then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

"There was no way I was letting that thing go. It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling," Coles said.

Mother of God.

3 comments:

tully said...

This may be a sign of the approach of the day of judgement and the apocalypse...

"And the serpent will enter a great metal body in flight,
And the pilot will suffer in a great struggle with the serpent at the foot of his throne,
And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal:
And in the midst of the throne and round about the throne,
Were four beasts full of eyes before and behind"

-Revelations

Anonymous said...

Little C: It's RevelaTION. Singular. Not plural. You're young, so I'm sparing you a lifetime of sounding ignorant here.

JVL: Next time Jonah Goldberg rips you off over at the Corner--and he did--would you mind pointing it out? Because it ain't my effin' job to note that the guy is pretty obviously piggybacking on you.

Which, and maybe it's just me, I imagined would be spine-crushing. Not just because he's obese, mind you, but also because his ego is so dense and heavy that, if dropped into opean seas, it would sink to the bottom of the ocean, plough beneath the crust, and displace the earth's very core.

Also, because he's fat.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Anon 8:00 is jealous of somebody.