Philadelphia is now poised to take its rightful place among the great powers. We hereby announce our intention to formally annex the NFC West. We have suffered this pathetic division's insolence for nearly four months and will not tolerate further provocation.
Once we have consolidated our rightful dominion over the National Football Conference, we will determine our future demands.
Neocon exit question: Who would be more obnoxiously aggressive--a Philadelphia fan with a Super Bowl and World Series victories or a nuclear-armed Iran?
2 hours ago