Tuesday, August 30, 2005

A Shiny Quarter

If you can pick out the meanest insult:
In theory, it still dates Jake Gyllenhall and Bloom still dates Kate Bosworth. And that's where the mystery deepens. Why Orlando pretends to date girls to begin with is confusing, but the thought of him banging Dunst just makes my skin crawl. Despite erotic urban legends to the contrary, sex with a baby-toothed ghost yields surprisingly little satisfaction.

13 comments:

Duane said...

"... sex with a baby-toothed ghost yields surprisingly little satisfaction."

That's got to be the meanest comment. I've had sex with a baby-toothed ghost and it was quite satisfying. What's with all the poltergeist bashing?

Larry Rasczak said...

Good to see that Galley Slaves is still on the cutting edge of serious conservative thought! With so much mindless fluf in the media these days, I am glad to see that Galley Slaves is still publishing intelligent and important work. Your uncanny ability to sort through the mindless and meaningless chaff of the chattering class, and pick out only those jewels that are of interest to the wider world of your readers means that your MUST READ status is assured.

Dean Barnett said...

Lighten up, Larry. The Slaves rock!

Lawjedi said...

My thought is that identifying Dunst as "it" is probably the coldest part of that post. The rest seems to be just a cruel garnish of frank physical commentary.

Orlando took some collateral damage, but he got off light.

Larry Rasczak said...

Sorry Dean, I've got one of those "real life" things you keep hearing about; you know, cap, gown, job, wife, kids, responsibility, busy schedule, higher brain centers even.

Sure Ms. Dunst was cute as a button in SPIDERMAN. However, when I became old enough to legally buy beer I stopped caring about things like if Orlando passed who a note to Kos during gym class saying he was going to take Kirsten to the sock hop instead of Jen.

Anonymous said...

Busy schedule, Larry? Bet it's not too busy to post comments on a blog about how busy you are!

What a no-talent assclown.

the other larry rasczak said...

hey, my name was larry rasczak before the no talent ass-clown starting winning grammies.

Anonymous said...

I think I would rather read the lyrics to one of Michael Bolton's songs than one of leaping Larry's posts.

Maybe...I am not sure on that one.

"I celebrate his entire catalog."

M.E. Russell said...

Larry, I can personally attest that Last has everything you have -- "cap, gown, job, wife, kids, responsibility, busy schedule, higher brain centers even," as I believe you delicately put it. However, he also has something you apparently don't: a sense of humor.

Galley Slaves is what many people with "higher brain centers" might call "a creative steam-blowing outlet." And anyone who's read the work the Slaves do for another site you might have heard of would understand that. You're spraying vitriol at the wrong target.

Anonymous said...

Russell, I'm with you all the way, but I'm pretty sure Last doesn't have kids.

Pretty sure, mind you.

Anonymous said...

That's not what I hear...

M.E. Russell said...

Yeah, I think you're right about that whole no-kids thing for Mr. Last. Well, maybe Larry's kids took his sense of humor, then.

Michael said...

I bookmark the site at home, but you should have a standard warning that site isn't really work safe.

Anyhow, the Tara Reid pictures are much, much worse.