Thursday, February 22, 2007

Manny's Law

Who's your favorite NFL player, non-Eagle, non-Brady Division? Maybe it should be Manny Lawson, who seems to actually write this brilliant column for the '49ers' website:

Let’s talk about this San Francisco Crab Festival on the 24th that I have volunteered myself for. I don’t know what all it entails. I hope it is not dealing with live crabs because I’m not too fond of getting pinched. I try to stay away from that. Maybe we can race crabs, I don’t know. I’m not sure what it’s about. If it’s just eating crabs, that’s good. I can do that. I’m a huge seafood guy.

I haven’t really gone anywhere since the season ended, and it seems like they are really trying to send me home. All I do is work out and run and watch film, and now I guess they are trying to send a strong hint that I need to go away, go on vacation or get away from football because they have taken my weight room away from me. I have been kicked to the curb.

They are calling it a “re-modeling” but they know that I don’t know of any gyms around here to go to, and I don’t have one in my little neighborhood. And I don’t understand this treatment. It’s not like I loiter or walk around the building aimlessly bothering everyone. I have my routine, come in and I leave. I don’t think they love me any more.

I guess it is good that they are renovating our weight room, changing it and making it more efficient to players’ needs, but what about mine?

But I figured something out. If they take everything out of the weight room, where are they going to put it? Well, I discovered that they just shifted it to our locker room, so I can just lift in there. There’s always a loophole so in a few hours, I’ll be back in here getting my swole on. I’m sure they are laughing and thinking, “Let’s see if Manny can find the bench press.” Well, I found it.

I haven’t cleared 200 in bowling yet. I got 192 bowling and I choked on the last frame. I still can not believe. All I needed was 8 pins out of 10! I had been hitting at least nine pins all day with my little curve ball, but on that last one I decided I’d try to roll it straight down the lane. It didn’t work. Instead it went straight into the gutter, so I’m still not a pro and I still don’t have my own ball or my own shoes.
Vickiel Vaughn has bowled on his own too, and he did the same thing, came close to 200 but choked on the last frame with a gutter ball.

My choke really hurt my feelings. I just sat there. They know me by name because I go there so much so they were checking on me in there to see how I was doing, and I was just so upset. I just sat and thought about it for a bit. It was tough to swallow.

Mainly though, I’ve watched a lot of movies. . . .

He goes on. He's awesome, with a capital Awesome.

1 comment:

Michael said...

Cool, he can be the "Agent 0" of the NFL.

Suck it uptight sportswriters.