Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Paging Matt Labash, STAT

In the tradition of Tupac, Jewelz, and Shaq, Hillary Duff is dropping knowledge on Lindsay Lohan with her new album. From the song "Haters":

You're the queen of superficiality / Keep your lies out of my reality. . . .

You say your boyfriend's sweet and kind / But you've still got your eyes on mine.

It's not quite Dre or Biggie, mind you (Try to jack me up for a 211 / Fuck around and get up in a 187 or What's beef? / Beef is when you need two gats to go to sleep / Beef is when your moms ain't safe up in the streets / Beef is when I see you / Guaranteed to be an ICU).

What the world clearly needs is a magazine-length treatment of the blood-feud between Miss Piggy and the Hilton-in-Training. And there's only one writer in America qualified to do it. Over to you, Matt.

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