Friday, August 05, 2005

Sixers Notes

I don't really dig on Anchorman, but Bill Simmons does, and he's funnier than me. He has an excellent NBS offseason wrap-up, and has this to say about the '76ers:
To Philly GM Billy King, who continues to hemorrhage money like a drunken stockbroker in the champagne room at Scores. Over the past four summers, King spent $68 million on an aging Dikembe Mutombo; $40 million on Kenny Thomas; $35.5 million on Aaron McKie; $29 million on Eric Snow; $20.7 million on Brian Skinner; $18 million on Greg Buckner; and an astonishing $15 million for Kevin Ollie (which was especially memorable because, at the time, I spent 15 minutes on the phone with my buddy House trying to get him to guess how much money Ollie had signed for, before House came up with the exact figure). And don't forget, King traded for C-Webb's bum knee and the $66 million remaining on C-Webb's contract last February.

So if you're Billy King, what do you do for an encore? You spend $45 million for the next six years on ... (drumroll please) ... Kyle Korver and Willie Green! Are you kidding me? It's amazing that King didn't get in on the Brian Scalabrine bidding. Anyway, I think King is clearly preparing for his next job -- Hollywood movie executive. Couldn't you see him spending $18 million to lock up Rob Schneider for "Deuce Bigalow 2?" He'd be perfect out here.


Anonymous said...

Galley Friend B.W. writes:

Today's follow-up:

23. "I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said -- my tummy itches."

To former Cavs GM Jim Paxson again ... in yesterday's column, I mistakenly blamed Philly GM Billy King for the fact that Kevin Ollie possesses a $15 million contract right now. Actually, Paxson was the one who signed Ollie to that deal; King then traded for it the following season. So my facts were screwed up. But since I forgot to mention King signing Derrick Coleman's decomposing body to a $20 million extension three years ago, we're probably even here.

(While we're here, kudos to Steve Carell as Brick Tamlin -- normally the Token Dumb Guy is a thankless role, but he's outstanding in this movie -- good enough that I'm even thinking about seeing "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" in the theaters. Which reminds me, does he wear an A.C. Green jersey at any point in that movie? Was A.C. hired as a consultant? Has anyone written about this yet?)

miklos rosza said...

Did A.C. ever score? Are we sure?

Anonymous said...

You like another liberal in this guy. Go figure -- weekly standard morons -- does your own paper or the national review not give you such pop culture fun?

That Dude said...

I hate it when dudes come on here and bitch ANON. Show some balls effer. Bill Simmons is def a liberal, but he is an extremely talented writer.

And Geez, Billy King is TERRIBLE with contracts, but Ed Snider keeps giving him money.