Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Can We Panic Now?

Those who have insisted all along that Sony's PS3 was an unstoppable juggernaut (I'm looking at you, S.B.) have maintaned that Japan was the Sony's Alamo, a territory where their advantage would be so complete that it would make up for flagging sales elsewhere. Well, it's the Alamo all right:


Enterbrain's Hirokazu Hamamura has predicted a price cut for

PlayStation 3 after new figures revealed that the console is being outsold by both Nintendo Wii and PS2 in Japan. According to Media Create, more than 80,000 Wii units were sold in the territory between January 22 and 28. During the same period Sony sold 21,000 PS2 consoles and 20,000 PS3s. Just 7000 Xbox 360 units were shifted as Microsoft continues

its struggle to secure a foothold in the Japanese market.

Wii sales for the entire month of January stood at 400,000 units, while 150,000 PlayStation 3 consoles were sold.

The PS3 launched in Japan on November 11, followed by the Wii on December 2. Since then Sony has sold 614,000 consoles while Wii sales have topped 1.4 million.

Tempting Fate

Really, this is the dumbest thing any corporate titan has said in a long time:

[Bill] Gates started off the Apple portion of his interview by touting security features in Vista. Providing a robust security foundation was even offered as a reason for having left out many of the features originally planned for Vista.

"We made it way harder for guys to do exploits," said Mr. Gates. "The number [of exploits] will be way less because we've done some dramatic things [to improve security] in the code base. Apple hasn't done any of those things."

In another portion of the interview, he added, "Nowadays, security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally. I dare anybody to do that once a month on the Windows machine."

Unless this is a double head-fake, where Gates really does want Romanian hackers to bust Vista wide open because Microsoft didn't have the time to do security testing themselves, this seems really, really stupid.

Reason #476 to take the bus . . .

Because at the bus stops, at night, they sometimes show porn.

Go Ahead and Cry

Joss Whedon has left the WB's Wonder Woman project.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Last night's Super Bowl commercials were a mixed bag. The trick is not taking any notes on them and trying to remember any good ones and, even more of a challenge, recalling what products were actually being advertised. I found, for instance, the office-survivor ads to be funny. But was it for Monster.com or some other web-based job firm? Some promos were very short but easily memorable, such as Letterman and Oprah. Kevin Federline was able to self-deprecate for (I think) Nationwide Insurance. Gamers, I am sure, loved the Coke-Grand Theft Auto commercial, turning a criminal into a good Samaritan. And then there is the phrase "Connectile Dysfunction" for, I think, Nextel Sprint. But as one of my colleagues asked, What happens if you've been connected for more than four hours?

Super Bowl

In terms of collective quality of play, maybe the worst Super Bowl game in my lifetime. The only comparable messes are the Ravens-Giants in 2001 and Bucs-Raiders in 2003.

There have been worse games, I suppose, but not many games where the collective talent on the field was so terrible. The Bears are on the list of worst teams to appear in a Super Bowl since '82. And name the Super Bowl champs who were worse than the Colt. Again, it's a short list.

That said, the Prince halftime show was the best I've ever seen. To relive the glory, it's in two parts on YouTube. Part 1 and Part 2.

Update: From Galley Brother B.J.:

This year’s Super Bowl taught me that I actually know nothing about football.

I’d have thought that in bad weather the Bears would want to pressure Manning, take away the short passes, and force him to beat them over the top. I’d never have thought of Lovie Smith’s ingenious strategy of playing every down like it's 3rd and 15, not pressuring Manning, and giving up a safe 8 to 10 yard pass on every play. (Did Smith think he had a huge lead and could trade yards for time. Or did he just not want to risk getting blown out and was playing to lose while keeping it close-ish?)

I had thought that loose balls were very important and that you want to see your players diving after the ball once it's fumbled, like Grossman did after his HB fumbled right in front of him. Rather than pulling a Manning and watching the ball hit the ground 5 yards away and then refuse to go near it because there are defensive players running towards it. (How is it that no one called Manning out on this last night?)

I’d say Manning’s performance was nothing even remotely special. He had one touchdown pass because the Bears decided not to cover Wayne and a bunch of yards and a high completion percentage because the Bears weren’t covering anything short. And he refused to risk contact by not going after a loose ball after his HB fumbled near the Bears' 35. I’m not saying I could have put up those numbers against that Bears defense, but I’m saying Bubby Brister could have.

Of course, most talking heads/experts will disagree with me.

Friday, February 02, 2007

One-Liner of the Day

From Blog Crush II:

Did Sheila E ever get 2 lead a glamorous life? Because I think she probably works at Boston Market these days.


Bonus: It's possible--just possible--that this item, an extended Troy McClure discourse on the history of Super Bowl halftime shows, is the funniest thing ever to run on Blog Crush II:

Hi, I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such Super Bowl Halftime Shows as "Down with People, Up with Fish!" and "There Are 100 Michael Jacksons!"

I'm here to talk with you today about the evolution of the Super Bowl Halftime Show and, in accordance with my plea bargain with Miami-Dade prosecutors and the Miami Seaquarium, provide you with my prediction for the game.

The first Super Bowl Halftime Show was held, surprisingly enough, in 1965, years before the first Super Bowl. Initially the term was used by authorities as a code for beating up Vietnam protestors.

Take that, Maynard G. Muskyvote!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Trailer City

The new trailer for Knocked Up is remarkable not just for the stunning and unexpected comic timing of Katherine Heigl (somewhere, Jason Behr and Shiri Appleby are crying) but for how very, very much the male lead sounds like a 30-year-old Albert Brooks.

It's uncanny.

Best Euphemism Ever.

From this story about San Fran mayor Gavin Newsom boinking the wife of his deputy chief of staff/campaign manager, Alex Tourk:

Alex Tourk "confronted the mayor on the issue this afternoon, expressed his feeling about the situation in an honest and pointed way, and resigned," said one source close to Tourk and his wife.


Oh, to have heard that pointed expression of honest feelings.

PS: Just wondering--deep in the story, as all players are refusing to comment, there's this funny line: "A family friend who asked not to be identified said she would have no comment."

I don't know much about journalism or anything, but if a source isn't going to comment, they don't normally then get to request that they also remain nameless, do they? Isn't commenting the price of anonymity? And if you're going to let anonymous sources not comment, then why include it in the story?

The only explaination I can figure is that reporter included this just to get the pronoun "she" in, to point suggest that this anonymous no-commenter might be Newsom's ex-wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle. But that seems like a stretch . . .

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Such a Dirty Old Man

Being a latecomer to HBO/BBC's Extras, I've been catching up on the older episodes, including this one with Patrick Stewart. The man has got range!

Monday, January 29, 2007

I can't believe the news today...

According to Breitbart.com, certain parishes under the Church of England will now be able to perform services to the tune of U2 songs "in an effort to boost congregations." Two of the songs to be used are "Mysterious Ways" and "Beautiful Day."

As some of you know, I've listened to U2 since I was about 14. But if I were sitting in a church and suddenly I was told to please rise and sing the communion hymn, "Bullet the Blue Sky," I think I would have to flee.

Sadly, this sort of gimmick is not new. When I was in Catholic high school, someone conned our teachers and the local priest into playing Mr. Mister's "Kyrie" during the consecration.

Get Your Geek On

Dan McLaughlin has been musing about the Star Wars prequels. I know what you're thinking--Now?

Except that Dan isn't working in terms of recriminations. He's thinking about how the films could have been improved. And one of his ideas, in particular, will blow you. (Away!)

2. Combine the First Two Films. Since the original Star Wars ("A New Hope") billed itself as "Episode IV," the prequels had to be three films. But they didn't have to be these three. In fact, I think most Star Wars fans expected the first of the three films to introduce Anakin, the second to cover the Clone Wars, and the third to bring Anakin over fully to the Dark Side.

Had Lucas stuck with that order, a huge number of the narrative problems and omissions in the prequel trilogy would have fallen away. First, Lucas himself has admitted that he had to pad out Phantom Menace to get to a full-length film. Making an Episode I that covered Phantom Menace's storyline in 45 minutes before jumping ahead 10 years to pick up the Attack of the Clones storyline would have immediately removed or drastically shortened a lot of the filler and the redundant plotlines - the Gungans (Jar Jar even would not have been so bad with five minutes of screen time), the storyline where Anakin accidentally destroys the Death Star-lite, the fun but overlong pod race, the repetitive fight scenes at Padme's palace. As a corollary, instead of being off in a star fighter Anakin should have been present for the final battle with Darth Maul. That would have presented several opportunities - have him witness the death of his first mentor, intensifying his emotional scars. Have him play some role, through a not-entirely-intentional use of the Dark Side of the Force (perhaps even a Force-choke on Darth Maul that isn't noticed by Obi-Wan) that saves Obi-Wan and lets him kill Darth Maul, thus (1) establishing Anakin's unusual precocity without the need for a midichlorian blood sample and (2) serving as a sort of original sin in his relationship with Obi-Wan. Personally, I would also have laid out near the beginning the death of Sifo Dyas, whose critical role in ordering the clone army is never explained onscreen.

Hardware Hotness

Mike Goldfarb has a disturbing post about the unbelievably hot F-22 Raptor. Seems the fighter was designed without the ability to send data!

Ouch.
Caffeinated donuts. I'm just saying.

Friday, January 26, 2007

WorldWide Standard

Galley Friend and Eagles Super Fan Michael Goldfarb has taken over the WorldWide Standard and looks to be taking the blog in different, highly interesting directions. For instance, here's Goldfarb on the "MOP"--the Air Force's new stealth bunker-buster:

Military and Aerospace Electronics reports that the Air Force is working to outfit the B-2 stealth bomber with a "30,000-pound bunker-busting 'super bomb.'" The bomb, known as the Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOP), is designed to destroy deeply buried and reinforced bunkers of the type North Korea and Iran have relied upon for their nuclear weapons programs.

You can read more about the MOP at globalsecurity.org, but most significant is its ability to penetrate more than 200 feet of earth and reinforced concrete. That is a significant improvement over the GBU-28, which is a 5,000-pound laser-guided bomb that was initially used to destroy Iraqi underground facilities in the first Gulf War. And while some experts have questioned how effective bunker-busters will be against hardened targets in Iran and elsewhere, John Pike told me last year that he believed the military had deliberately fostered such doubts in an attempt "to lull the mullahs into a false sense of security." He said the GBU-28 would cut through such facilities "like a hot knife through butter," which makes one wonder just what a bomb six-times heavier could do.


Goldfarb is a fine reporter and a great writer and if you have even passing interest in military affairs, he'll be required reading for you.

Sony: Completely Out of Touch

Take a look at this article, featuring an interview with Sony's Jack Tretton. The date stamp on it says "January 23," and I assume that's from 2007. But Tretton's description of the marketplace sounds like it's from January 2006. In the course of ruling out a PS3 price drop until 2008, Tretton says:

Tretton also stated that demand for the PS3 means that consumers will be willing to pay over the odds at launch.

“I think the consumers that get their hands on a PlayStation 3 clearly see the value and not only want to buy one for $599, in some instances they’re willing to pay ridiculous prices on eBay,” he said.


Here's the PS3 eBay page. First, note that there's a ton of inventory. Next, observe that there are indeed a lot of sellers asking ridiculous prices, but not a lot of buyers at those levels. The action seems to be on the many, many units which are selling below MSRP.

Aussie Open Notes

Andy Roddick can't roll with RFed, but he gives good interview:

He was asked what it was like to be on center court at the end of a Grand Slam semi in which he was sent packing in straight sets in just 1 hour, 23 minutes.

"It was frustrating. It was miserable. It sucked. It was terrible," Roddick said. "Besides that, it was fine."

Roddick was asked to explain the match starting from the point where the score was 4-4 in the first set.

"I got broken. Then I got broken three more times. Then I got broken two more times in the third set. Then it was over 26 minutes later. Is that what you saw, too?" he said.

Questions turned to Jimmy Connors, the former great who is now coaching Roddick and who the player had earlier said helped to boost his game and his confidence to the point where he believed he was ready to challenge nine-time Grand Slam winner Federer.

Reporter: "What did Jimmy say to you straight after the game?"

Roddick: "He gave me a beer."

What was Connors advice coming into the match?

"There was a lot of strategy talk," Roddick said. But, "It's not so much like, `If you're down 6-4, 6-0, 2-0 ...' We didn't really talk about that. Oops."

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Will Work For Food

Specifically, I will work for foie gras eggrolls, Bay scallop ceviche, and freshly shucked oysters. As Washington Post staff writer Sara Kehaulani Goo reports from Google HQ in Mountain View, California, that is exactly the sort of fare offered by the company's various cafés (and not cafeterias) to its hard-working employees.

Just a taste:

One week, according to menus Google provided, chefs featured the "tuna tower": a collection of "mixed organic greens, carrot matchsticks, and Asian dressing topped with sliced, seared Ahi tuna, diced ginger root and lime, toasted coconut, basil, mint, cilantro, pickled cucumber and peanut praline." Earlier this month, a menu at Cafe 150 touted egg rolls "stuffed with Szechuan duck confit, Sonoma foie gras and julienne celery root . . . served with huckleberry-ponzu jelly"; Bloody Mary consomme with "house made crab, saffron, and celery gelee"; and, for dessert, potato chips covered in chocolate and sprinkled with fleur de sel.

Two other things: Google offers not only lunch but breakfast and dinner, encouraging its 10,000 workers to spend more time in the office, thereby bolstering productivity. Second, did I mention it is all free?

I know what you're thinking. Go ahead, soak it up, enjoy it while you can. But nothing lasts forever and one day this too shall pass. Maybe so, but that might not be for at least another six or seven years. And right now, I am thinking of going to Potbelly's, wait in a line that wraps around the block, and purchase a "Wreck" sandwich and a bag of Utz sour cream and onion potato chips.

It's just not right.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Bam Bam Bigelow, RIP

Sad news: Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow is dead at the age of 45. ImpactWrestling.com has details about services to be held at the Jersey shore this Friday and Saturday.

I don't know that I ever saw a great build-up to the introduction of a new WWF wrestler like the one Vince McMahon gave Bam Bam. Remember all of the managers--Bobby the Brain, Mr. Fuji, etc.--fighting to sign Bigelow, only to have the weird Mr. Humperdink emerge with him after weeks of promos?

Quiescat in Pace.
At last night's State of the Union address, President Bush recognized Dikembe Mutombo for his humanitarian efforts, saying:

Dikembe Mutombo grew up in Africa, amid great poverty and disease. He came to Georgetown University on a scholarship to study medicine--but Coach John Thompson got a look at Dikembe and had a different idea. Dikembe became a star in the NBA, and a citizen of the United States. But he never forgot the land of his birth--or the duty to share his blessings with others. He has built a brand new hospital in his hometown. A friend has said of this good-hearted man: "Mutombo believes that God has given him this opportunity to do great things." And we are proud to call this son of the Congo our fellow American.

Afterwards, Mutombo told the Houston Chronicle in a phone interview that "My heart was full of joy. I didn't know the president was going to say such great remarks. He raised me so high. I'm so happy. I'm so proud to be a citizen of the United States of America and to be recognized for my work. God is good to have put this work in my heart."

The Rockets center then proceeded to Statuary Hall and greeted the press gaggle with a hearty "Who wants to sex Mutombo tonight?"

The Daily Mail reports that this frill shark was recently discovered off the coast of Japan. Widely regarded as prehistoric because it has barely evolved over millions of years, this frill shark lurks more than two thousand feet below the surface, has a "mouthful of needle-sharp teeth," and feeds on other sharks.

Shoot it! Shoot it!

House: A Very Special Episode

Blog Crush II got their hands on the script for a Super-Bowl themed episode, guest starring Peyton Manning. So brilliant you'll cry.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

SuperBowl Sour Grapes

Much--too much--is being made over Dungy and Smith being the first black coaches in the SuperBowl. Does anyone care about this stuff anymore?

But on the off-chance someone out there does care, I propose that we simply declare that the NFL will only have completely solved its diversity problem when a black kicker wins a SuperBowl.

(Or, failing that, when another white running-back wins. Whichever comes first.)

Get Your Fresh CulturePulp!

For real this time. A very excellent installment.

Best Headline Ever?

The wits at the Washington Post have this tidbit on Nancy Pelosi's new charm offensive:

"Pelosi Lures Cameras to the Speaker's Box"

Yeah, baby! No word yet as to whether Vivid or Digital Playground will win the rights.

Monday, January 22, 2007

My Fast Wants to Hump Peter Stormare

The best ad series of the year has got to be VW's new GTI series, "Un-Pimp Your Ride." The spots feature Peter Stormare doing a hipster/mad-scientist character that's a melding of his characters from Big Lebowski and Minority Report, with of dash of Sprockets added for good measure. The only way these ads could be better would be if he threw in a barely-audible cluck-ing sound.

This one is the best of the group:

Check out the wild look in his eyes just before he gets to the catch-phrase, "Time to un-pimp ze auto..." Priceless.

The two other entries in the series are here and here.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Aussie Open Notes

Saw a lot of the new Serena Williams this weekend:

"Get the champ some peanut-butter brickle ice cream!"

Friday, January 19, 2007

Mummy Represent

Dustin Rowles has some unkind words about the news that the third installment of the Mummy series has been given the go-ahead. But let's give a little shout-out to the Mummy: Yes, the movies aren't much, but the Universal Studios' roller-coaster, Revenge of the Mummy, may be the best theme-park ride ever made.

Plus, the Mummy franchise brought Rachel Weisz to the wider world. And if she isn't in your top five, something's wrong with you.

Cold Comfort Farm

Yes, this is the only thing Philly fans have to keep them warm this weekend.



Note the outstanding POD at the end of the clip. Some producer was thinking fast.

Darth Gates on the PS3

Sure, he's spinning, but Bill Gates makes some reasonably persuasive points nonetheless:

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates has declared that the strategy for Xbox 360 is "working perfectly", questioning Sony and Nintendo's next-gen console offerings.

As reported by Dean Takahashi of the San Jose Mercury News, Gates observed that the original Xbox was "20 per cent better" than its rivals.

However, he continued, "It didn't matter. We were a year late, didn't have the best games. We had this bigger box. We did have online. We didn't switch positions on that."

But as for the strategy for Xbox 360, "It's working perfectly. We wanted to be the guy with the small box that costs less. We wanted to have the most games. We wanted to play to our software strength, and tools and online.

"We wanted to swap positions with Sony. We wanted to not be a year late, not be a big box, not be a more expensive box. How are we doing on that?"

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I can't believe I missed this but, last November, according to Jon Hilkevitch of the Chicago Tribune, "A flying saucerlike object hovered low over O'Hare International Airport for several minutes before bolting through thick clouds with such intense energy that it left an eerie hole in overcast skies, said some United Airlines employees who observed the phenomenon.... The sighting occurred during daylight, about 4:30 p.m., just before sunset.

"All the witnesses said the object was dark gray and well defined in the overcast skies. They said the craft, estimated by different accounts to be 6 feet to 24 feet in diameter, did not display any lights.

"Some said it looked like a rotating Frisbee, while others said it did not appear to be spinning. All agreed the object made no noise and it was at a fixed position in the sky, just below the 1,900-foot cloud deck, until shooting off into the clouds."

Luckily, the UFO found an open gate at Midway.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The master of ceremonies for this year's White House Correspondence Dinner has just been revealed by the Examiner: Rich Little. That's right, the Rich Little. Remember his Christmas Carol impression-extravaganza? Sure that was in 1978 but it still resonates today. And what about those indelible Little Debbie commercials? Frank Gorshin, if only you were still with us! (Or what about Pat Cooper?)

Manning

Blog Crush II has an awesome video of Prince Peyton. Scroll all the way down.


Seriously: If Manning wins, or even get to, the SuperBowl, ESPN and other NFL telecasts will become totally unwatchable next season.

For no good reason, here are Archie Manning's career stats. Go look the up the next time one of the ESPN heads talks about his greatness. That's right, 125 TDs vs. 173 INTs, lifetime. Only two seasons with more TDs than INTs.

I'm not sure he'd even start in today's NFL.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Short Sony. Now.

From Galley Friend S.B. comes this AICN entry indicating that porn producers seem to be choosing HD-DVD over Sony's Blu-Ray.

Update: The NPD console numbers are out:

Official hardware statistics reveal that despite the addition of new hardware to the market, Sony's PlayStation 2 was still the biggest selling home system, clocking up 1.4 million units for December, and 37.1 million to date in the US.

Microsoft's Xbox 360 added another 1.1 million units in December to a total of 4.5 million units since launch, while Nintendo's Wii sold 604,200 units for the month - with year end sales at 1.1 million.

Although Sony recently announced it had shipped one million PS3 units to North America, NPD data reveals the new console has only sold 687,000 of those, with 490,700 units sold in December.

Advantage: Blogosphere

Galley Brother B.J. sends us to the Nation of Islam Sports Blog. It's pretty good. Sample:
Salaam aleikum, Paul Hewitt.

Your Georgia Tech Black Jackets defeated the ultimate white devil, Mike Krshewissdiyssky and his evil forces of oppression, in the subhuman form of Duke Blue Devils.

For years slave master coach KKK has built his fortune and fame on the back of the original human. In turn, slave master coach KKK has tried to give the credit to the white players that have reaped the benefits of the Negro teamates around them. Jay Bilas, Bobby Hurley, Christian Laetner...etc, have all been products of their Negro teamates. Held in esteem and on high as they paraded themselves mounted atop the Negro throes beneath them.

How times have changed in Durham. Now, slave master coach KKK doesn't have the great numbers of talented Negro soldiers to fight his battles as in the past. Now his white players are exposed for what they are. Greg Paulus and Mcwhatever his name is are shown to be little more than above average players.

Here's NoISB on hockey:
White devils on ice. Whirling dervishes on skates. White athletes propelled and assisted by physics to speeds they can not reach on land. The ice. The last refuge and hiding place of the white athlete.

Not Michael Bay Blog territory, but still.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Great Moments in Philadelphia History

The drafting of the Constitution.

The election of Frank Rizzo.

And now this:
One group of Philly fans loaded up a pickup truck with imported snow in order to fire snowballs at Giants fans before yesterday's game. Even more hysterically sociopathic, the Birds supporters brought buckets to take the snow with them in order to hunt down New York fans in the parking lot.

Yeah, baby.

An American Hero

Some Galley Friends are aware of my slight misgivings about Realtors. But now I've found Frank Borges Llosa--a D.C. area anti-Realtor.

How great is Frank? If you go by his blog, he seems to know his stuff. And his mission statement seems to be along the lines of Are you sure you really want to buy that place?

But it gets even hotter--like this long post taking on the National Association of Realtors for their "It's a great time to buy or sell a home" campaign. (Only Realtors could figure out how to work the square root of -1 into market economics.)

Here's Frank on why not to trust the NAR. Here he is on how leverage increases the buyer's risks. Here he is on how Realtors fudge MLS data.

Go read it all.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

My Name Is . . . Koyyyyyyyyy!

What's better than TonyHomo.com? How about the Koy Detmer fanpage.

Has there ever been this much love for a holder? Go ahead and download the Koy Detmer wallpaper. You know you want to.

Peter Jackson's Progress

If you haven't followed it, Peter Jackson's fight with New Line has now escalted to the point where studio head Bob Shaye says that Jackson, who was responsible for the biggest success in New Line's history, is no longer welcome at the studio: "[T]he answer is he will never make any movie with New Line Cinema again while I'm still working for the company."

The genesis of this fight is a lawsuit Jackson and his wife have launched against the studio seeking to gain access to the company's finances (see Jackson's explanation here). The nub seems to be that Jackson and Walsh think New Line is cheating them out of some revenue still due to them.

That may be true. Heck, the way studio accounting works, it probably is true. But it says something deeply unflattering about Jackson that he isn't content with what he has and able to write off whatever theoretical moneys he's missing out on as the cost of doing business.

Let's not forget that until Mike DeLuca (the former head of New Line), plucked Jackson out of obscurity and gave Jackson the LoTR project, he was a small-time, fledgling genre director. If you look at >Jackson's track record, he had four features under his belt, the biggest of which grossed $16.7M. (Only one other of Jackson's movies topped the $1M mark.)

Yet DeLuca and New Line bet the company on Jackson, giving him an initial budget approaching a quarter of a billion dollars. (The actual budget increased as post-production costs increased and the FoTR performed well at the box office.) By all accounts, Jackson was given near total freedom from and support by New Line, he won himself a basket of Oscars, and pocketed, when all was said and done, somewhere in the neighborhood of $250M for himself.

If New Line is cheating him out of another $8M in DVD revenue--heck, if they're cheating him out of $80M--Jackson should be grateful to the company for making his career, supporting his artistic vision, and changing everything about his life.

Going nuclear over a few extra dollars here and there after he already has his "fuck-you" money, suggests that Jackson has gone Hollywood in the worst possible way.

But after seeing King Kong, maybe we already knew that.

Levels of Funny



(*Also from Blog Crush II.)

Hating on Charm City

From Blog Crush II:
Fun fact: My favorite movie of all time is the Sum of All Fears. I know: Ben Affleck crappiness matched up with Tom Clancy retardery. But here's the kicker: Baltimore gets blown the fuck up by a nuclear bomb. I own the DVD and it's the only part I've watched since buying it. Still the greatest purchase I ever made.

Scroll up to the next post and you'll get more from the Sex Cannon, particularly an awesome White Chicks joke.

Impossible is the Opposite of Possible

Galley Friend C.L. gives me, and you, this amazing, beautiful gift: George Michael Bluth doing Aleksey Vayner. Is it better than anything you could possibly imagine? Yes.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

News Flash: Sony Solves PS3 Supply Problem!

Executives at Sony have finally gotten some PS3 inventory onto shelves in North America, conquering what some analysts thought might be an intractable supply issue. With one half of the equation solved, Sony now turns to the PS3 demand problem:
Daniel A. DeMatteo, vice chairman and COO of GameStop, late last week said PS3s are available at "hundreds of the company's 3,700 outlets," according to the New York Times. The Wii, on the other hand, is still hard to come by.

"We got some [Wiis] in yesterday in really limited supply, and they virtually disappeared," DeMatteo said, according to the NYT.

The $250 Wii and $499/$599 PlayStation 3 were very difficult to purchase after their November launches, as gamers lined up outside stores at times days in advance to buy the systems. DeMatteo says this is the first time that PS3 stock has remained unsold in his stores.

Over the weekend, GameSpot editors visited a local EB Games, which is owned by GameStop, and found PS3s available for purchase. As for the Wii, one clerk told GameSpot, "We got some in earlier this week and they were gone in five minutes."

Pajiba Love

Our friends at Pajiba have kindly nominated (or nominated to be nominated) Galley Slaves for something called the Bloggies.

I don't know what the Bloggies are, but that's hardly the point. The reason I mention this at all is because Pajiba has put us on a list that includes two of the best blogs on the planet: Blog Crush II and Jenny's House of Romophobia. Which, however undeserving, is pretty sweet.

Monday, January 08, 2007

The Easiest Sell in the History of Pictures?

The history of cinema is littered with high-concepts that practically sell themselves:

* A giant shark becomes territorial.

* A dinosaur DisneyWorld goes terribly wrong.

* There are snakes. On a plane.


But have you ever heard of a high-concept as easy as the one for Normal Adolescent Behavior? Here's Drew McWeeney describing the flick:
Amber Tamblyn stars as Wendy, a smart girl who is a sort of lynchpin for a group of friends who have known each other since kindergarten. The six of them decided to skip the world of Friday night parties and hook-ups and spin the bottle so that they wouldn’t get side-tracked.

So every Saturday night, they get together as a group and have sex.

If New Line can't make a lot of money with this, something's wrong.

Pepper . . . and Salt!

Words of wisdom from Galley Friend M.G.:

Being from Philadelphia, this is all we can hope for--all we live for. We can never win the Big One. But if we can ruin the Giants' and Cowboys' seasons . . . that's our measure for success. That's our SuperBowl.


True that.

This has been the most satisfying year of Eagles fandom in my lifetime. Consider:

* The Birds beat the Cowboys twice--holding Terrell Owens to 6 catches for 68 yards and exposing him as the washed-up nutcase he is.

* Owens had a 1-year contract with Dallas and now that the rest of the league has seen that he's as used up as LiLo's cooter, it's nothing but short money from now on. The Cowboys might pick up his 1-year option for next year, but I bet he's substitute teaching within three.

* Tony Romo's bungled hold against the Seahawks was the best Dallas defeat ever (non-Philadelphia division). It was so good that it didn't even matter what happened to the Birds on Sunday.

* Listening to Parcells rip Romo after the game ("It looked like a good snap"), it appeared that (a) the Great Tuna might not be coming back to Dallas and (b) Romo's confidence might be shattered, Chuck Knobloch-stizz.

* Let's be clear: The Eagles have no--zero--chance of beating New Orleans on the road. But by beating the Giants last night, they contributed to the Legend of Manning. I hear squash season begins the second week of February.

* Also, last night's win probably signed Tom Coughlin's coaching death warrant.

Just in case you're keeping score, that's at least three, maybe even four or five, Giant/Cowboy careers wrecked by the Eagles this year. Fucking awesome. To be honest, I bet winning a championship is nowhere near as satisfying. Not that I'd know.

(And the Birds went to the playoffs with a backup QB, which doesn't happen every day in this league.)

How good was this season? So good that, for today, at least, I don't even care that Malibu Brownie has returned to Sixers management and looks to be about 12 months from taking over the head coach job. If Billie King wants me to buy a Nuggets jersey that badly, then . . .

The Rowdy One

Start your week off right: With this excellent Roddy Piper interview. It doesn't get much better:
"The fans saved my life, I truly believe that," Piper explains. "There was this pay-per-view called Cyber Sunday and the fans voted between myself, Dusty Rhodes, and Sgt. Slaughter, some pretty good company there, and it was for who was going to be Ric Flair's partner going for the tag team titles. Kindly, the fans voted me in, we won the titles, then we're over in Europe and something goes wrong with my legs…they're not working. They fly me back to the States, put me on the slab, cut open my back and they discover I have cancer. Lymphoma. But there's a really happy ending to it. First off, they picked the wrong guy to bully; I'm going to kick its butt. Also, they caught it at its very early stage. They put me on the rotisserie every day now, I'm going to be on radiation for the next 4-5 weeks, and they think they can clear it up. I'm going to be walking down that hall again, Jon.

"If the fans didn't vote me in, I wouldn't have went to Europe, I wouldn't have had a reason to have my back checked, and from what has been explained to me, in two to three years, this would have been all throughout my body and I would've had to go out that day. But you know what, the fans have been taking care of me all my life. What can I even say to them for that? It's pretty special for me."

Proposed: In the pro-wrestling pantheon, the only guy who comes close is Ric Flair.

Discuss.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Lisa, Nielsen, etc.

Just catching up on back Lisa de Moraes columns and this one is gold:
It's hard to be one of the Reporters Who Cover Television this time of year. While the rest of the population gets to attend holiday parties and amuse themselves with witty conversation about the regrettably low standard of morality among that segment of the population younger than they are, the poor RWCT usually can be found backed into a corner by a mob of partygoers angrily demanding to know why their favorite TV show was canceled while "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" is still on the air even though no one is watching, why reality programming continues to be perpetrated upon them, why TRWCT are so mean to that nice Katie Couric and, finally, to give details of their own idea for the next sure-fire gimongous TV hit.

Generally, at the first party a Reporter Who Covers Television has enough distracting factoids in his arsenal to come back pretty chirpily to this onslaught, if the eggnog is of high enough octane. But by the second party -- third, max -- his knotted and combined locks begin to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine, as Hamlet's dad used to say. . . .

Did you know, for instance, that "Studio 60," in addition to having an unusually upscale audience, as NBC likes to remind us, also is the year's No. 1-ranked show on Nielsen's Timeshifted Primetime TV Program list?

"Studio 60" enjoys an 11 percent increase in viewership when you add in all the households watching the show up to seven days after its Monday 10 p.m. broadcast. That's the largest percent increase of any program on prime-time television, Nielsen says.

This suggests that (a) NBC should try to strongarm Nielsen into using so-called "live + 7" numbers -- how many people record a show on VCR or DVR and watch it up to seven days after its broadcast -- in its weekly ratings reports so as to goose "Studio 60's" ratings and (b) maybe NBC should find a better time slot for "Studio 60." . . .

The Top-10 timeshifted programs are mostly serialized -- "Heroes," "Gilmore Girls," etc. -- but include the CW's reality series "America's Next Top Model." That makes sense since this fall it aired in the same time slot as ABC reality hit "Dancing With the Stars."

"American Idol," meanwhile, had the most product placements on broadcast TV this year with -- you want to be sitting down -- 4,086 occurrences in calendar 2006, which in the case of "Idol," really means between January and May.

"Idol" is the Mount Everest of product placement. Nothing else touches it. The No. 2 show on the 2006 Product Placement Top 10 is "The Amazing Race" with a mere 2,790 occurrences, followed closely by "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" with 2,701.

We're guessing about 3,346 "Idol" product placement occurrences come in the form of those three insidious red Coca-Cola cups prominently placed in front of judges Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson. Every time the camera cuts to Paula sitting at the judges' desk drinking "whatever" out of that Coke cup, it counts as one "occurrence," a nice Nielsen spokeswoman explained to The TV Column.

The rest of the occurrences on "Idol" are probably Cingular cellphones, from which we're urged to text-message in our vote for that week's best performance.

Not coincidentally, Coca-Cola is the most product-placed product of 2006, with -- will you look at that -- 3,346 occurrences. Cingular Wireless also is in the Top 10, but with a mere 532 occurrences. That's behind the Chicago Bears football team's 600 occurrences -- thanks to the ABC sitcom "According to Jim."

Here' s a fun fact you can wow them with at the next office party: All of 2006's Top-10 Product Placement Programs are reality series. Except for one scripted show, at No. 8.

Can you guess what it is?

[Pause] "King of Queens."

She's the best.

New Hotness

Not from Blog Crush or Blog Crush II, but from the original OG, Fr. Neuhaus:
Mark C. Taylor of Williams College is among the most nimble of nimble minds perched on the cutting edge of whatever, just possibly, might be the next big thing. His many books over the years on religion, philosophy, economics, architecture, and whatever have in common a neophiliac’s conventional delight in debunking what he takes to be conventional wisdoms. He was a friend of the late Jacques Derrida. (Earlier this year, The Onion ran the headline “Jacques Derrida ‘Dies.’ ”) Taylor is most noted for his conjoining of postmodernist a-theology with the “death of God” and a deconstructionist employment of the hermeneutics of suspicion. Older readers will no doubt remember the death of God. Taylor’s newest book is "After God."

In any event, Mr. Taylor’s op-ed (requires subscription) in the New York Times raises the alarm about the growing number of college students who “seem to be practicing traditional forms of religion.” These “fundamentalist” and “chauvinistic” students, we are told, do not take kindly to having their faith criticized. Even “distinguished scholars” are burdened by a new regime of “religious correctness” and some are “even subjected to death threats.” Mr. Taylor does not say whether he personally has been treated to the frisson of a death threat, but an administrator did once ask him to apologize to a student who complained that Taylor had offensively attacked his religion in class. Mr. Taylor writes, “I refused.” There are no doubt those who will admire his courage in the defense of professorial bad manners.

Of course, he does not see it that way. Mr. Taylor writes, “For years, I have begun my classes by telling students that if they are not more confused and uncertain at the end of the course than they were at the beginning, I will have failed.” Imagine that. A man who embraces as his life’s work instilling confusion and uncertainty in undergraduates. Challenging work, that.

Then he let the Alpine play.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Baby, have you ever wondered...

..wondered whatever became of me? I'm living on the air in Cincinnati. Cincinnati, WKRP. Okay, not really, but that's where I spent last weekend for a wedding and New Year's. It was my first trip to Porkopolis (and actually my first time in Ohio) and I enjoyed it very much. They like to eat in the Midwest. No, I didn't get a chance to sample the Skyline chili but I did have ribs, a skillet of eggs, bacon, onion, and cheese, and a wiener schnitzel. Coming from DC, it was almost disturbing just how friendly those Midwesterners are. They constantly ask if you are okay and if everything is alright. They look you in the eye and smile. And they give you their name and phone number and hotel room...

Anyway, a great town. I highly recommend visiting the bar at the Netherland Hotel (now a Hilton) and the Mount Adams bar & grill.

A few other things. I am in the midst of profiling Civilization creator Sid Meier. He couldn't have been a nicer guy. Almost Wallace Shawn-like. ("Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!") The interview will be part of a future piece but in case you are wondering, there is, he says, at least one cheat code. No, I couldn't get it out of him.

Secondly, has anyone else seen the Reuters story on the robot in South Korea that will aid in the delivery of babies? I believe the first two babies it delivered were named Luke and Leia.

Platform Agnosticism

I'm not much of a fan of David Denby as a movie critic, but his long piece on the future of movies is brilliant and beautiful. A must read.

Here's Denby on HD-DVD:
At the house of my friend Harry Pearson, who started the high-end video magazine The Perfect Vision, I watched movies on what must be close to the ultimate home-theatre system, a setup priced at two hundred thousand dollars. I thought that a glimpse of the best now available might be a way of anticipating the affordable future. It was also tremendous fun. Harry’s system uses a digital projector suspended from the ceiling, which fed a movie screen nine feet across the diagonal. Various electronic components decoded or upgraded the digital information or sent the sound to multiple speakers positioned around the room. The player was one of the new HD DVD sets made by Toshiba, and the experience of watching what it produced on that screen was like putting on a stronger pair of glasses for the first time: everything was brighter, crisper, more sharply defined—newer somehow, as if it had been freshly created, even though one of the movies we watched was a half century old. (Digital transfers are made by scanning a film negative or a print; technicians then digitally enhance the images.) With amazement, we watched a DVD of John Ford’s 1956 masterpiece, “The Searchers,” which is widely considered to be one of the most successful transfers of an old movie. The southwestern sky above Monument Valley was a brilliant azure; the desert was not a mass of orange-brown glop but grains of sand and pieces of rock; and, inside the pioneers’ cabin, details normally hidden in shadow, like drying corn hanging from the ceiling, were clearly visible. And so it was with a recent film. When Clint Eastwood’s “Million Dollar Baby” opened two years ago, I referred to the Hit Pit—the gym where much of the action takes place—as “sweat-stained” and a “relic.” But the high-definition transfer of the film, bringing shapes and textures out of the murk, revealed a gym that was old and shabby but also tidy and scrubbed clean.

Yet, though the detail was extraordinary, the image was different from a film image, and strange in some ways. In film, the illusion of three-dimensionality is produced by the laws of perspective, by the manipulation of focus, and by the subtleties of lighting: we are led into depth by gradations of color or, in black-and-white movies, by shades of gray. A digital transfer compacts color and increases contrast, so, in the early attempts—say, from a decade ago—the actors looked almost like cutouts against a flat background, their flesh tones waxy and doll-like. The images didn’t breathe the way the original film images did—the faces seemed to have lost their pores. But high-definition digital produces a more nuanced gradation of color and a more definite molding of the face—you see planes and hollows. To my eyes, both in digital transfers and in movies that were shot digitally, flesh still looks a little synthetic, but it looks better than before, and no doubt it will look even better in a few years. (“You want pores, we’ll give you pores,” a digital technician in Los Angeles told me.) The image was steady, too, in a way that a film image is not. A film, after all, gets pulled into place in a projector by pins entering and then withdrawing from sprocket holes; the image onscreen can jiggle a bit. On Harry’s system I noticed an evenness, steadiness, and hard focus into the far reaches of the screen, and also the absence of earlier digital artifacts, like a black edge around shapes or a flaring of solid whites.

All in all, high definition is a big improvement over standard digital imagery, though in truth I admire it without loving it. To arrive at a film print ready for exhibition, the image has to go through at least four generations—from negative to positive, and then back and forth again—and, by the end, the multiple printing produces some minor softening and darkening of color. I like the way color blends on film: the image is painterly and atmospheric; more poetic, perhaps, than a digital image; lyrical rather than analytic. I may have seen more of the Hit Pit in the high-definition transfer, but expressive metaphor had yielded to workaday reality. I was happier with my earlier sense of the gym as a place of defeat redeemed by Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman. And I think that Eastwood, having directed almost thirty films, may have intended “Million Dollar Baby” to look the way it looks on film.

And here he is on the idea of platform agnostism:
No exhibition method is innocent of aesthetic qualities. Platform agnosticism may flourish among kids, but platform neutrality doesn’t exist. Fifty years ago, the length of a pop single was influenced by what would fit on a forty-five-r.p.m. seven-inch disk. The length and the episodic structure of the Victorian novel—Dickens’s novels, especially—were at least partly created by writers and editors working on deadline for monthly periodicals. Television, for a variety of commercial and spatial reasons, developed the single-set or two-set sitcom. Format always affects form, and the exhibition space changes what’s exhibited.

I looked at “Brokeback Mountain” on a portable DVD player with a seven-inch screen and headphones—the kind of rig people use on airplanes and in jury waiting rooms. The focus was precise, the color bright. And, through the headphones, I heard such extraordinary details as the flip-flip-flip of the rain on the tent when Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger are up in the mountains. Yet there was something wrong. I was not in the mountains. The grandeur of the terrain is not something the men are necessarily conscious of, but the massiveness of the mountain range, the startling clarity of the air, the violence of the weather enlarge the experience of feelings they have no words for and can’t control. If you watch the movie on a small screen, you’re not living within this great breathing, palpable place. The small screen takes the emotion out of the landscape.

Go treat yourself to this great read.

KSK Goes Blue

Blog Crush II has the following spit-out-your-coffee-awesome line in this post. It's dirty. Real dirty. So I'm going to put it in invisotext. Highlight if you dare:

Dude, have seen the cock on Darwin Walker? Good fucking Lord. You could hang Saddam Hussein with that thing and have enough left over to dock a battleship . . .

Pajiba Hype

Dustin Rowles has a ridiculously fun list of the most disappointing ("hype-busting") movies of 2006. Absolutely worth reading. What's that? You don't believe me? Sample the goods. On Nacho Libre:

Granted, by the time Nacho Libre arrived in theaters, I’d long since become sick of anything associated with Jared Hess’ directorial debut, Napoleon Dynamite (cubicle monkeys and frat boys had ruined all that was quirky and fun about the film by exhausting each and every catchphrase ad fucking nauseum and basically Lindsay Lohaned a cute, somewhat endearing indie film), and School of Rock had already sapped what little entertainment value Jack Black had remaining from his arsenal of fat-boy witticisms. Still, I’d naïvely held out some hope that the combination of Black and Hess could somehow rekindle their respective magic. Unfortunately, Nacho Libre was the ultimate comedic disappointment: Not only had Hess’ whimsy been exorcised by the big budget, but the film didn’t even work as mainstream gross-out, dick-and-fart fare. It was lame sketch comedy run amok, based on the flimsy premise that Jack Black’s flabby torso was intrinsically hilarious, especially in combination with a bad accent.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Episcopalian Monster Truck Ad

Galley Friend C.W. has sent us this unspeakably funny radio ad for St. Andrew's Episcopal Church. The ad, which C.W. said was commissioned, but never aired, was done up in the style of Monster Truck Rally ads. As in:

This Sunday-Sunday-Sunday! It's a Sacramental Showdown at St. Andrew's!

I'd transcribe more of it here, but you wouldn't believe me. So just click on the link and turn the volume up. Because this is the funniest thing you'll hear in 2007.

Bonus: The St. Andrew's in question is this church in Birmingham, Alabama.
How smart am I? This smart.

There will be no other discussion of the topic; talking about it will only detract from the enjoyment.

All Hail Tony Jaa!

For those of you who are fans of brilliant stunt work, here's a four-minute shot of a Tony Jaa fight sequence. It's done in a single Steadicam shot, which is kind of amazing. I can't even imagine how many takes they must have done to get it right.



Jaa might be the next Jet Li.

Boise State

This is a public service: If you didn't see the Boise State-Oklahoma game and then somehow missed the highlights, here's a brief montage of what was certainly the best football game in the last year and certainly ranks somewhere on the all-time list. It's only 2:30 long and you owe it to yourself to watch.

There are larger implications from this--or at least there should be. There is no compelling reason Boise State shouldn't be in the national title game instead of Florida. And if the Powers That Be in college football want to avoid a playoff system and keep the BCS, then they ought to mandate that if a team goes unbeaten, then they go to the championship team--and if that means that you get Boise State playing Utah every once in a while, then so be it.

The point of this dictum would be to force the big-conference schools to play the Boise States of the world during the regular season, giving the small-conference powers a chance to prove whether or not they're legitimate contenders. As it stands, the current system is ridiculous.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Rextasy Is Back

All the way back. Blog Crush II:
"We have a game Sunday? Fuck, I didn't even know. They don't tell me when the games are played. I just run out onto the field and start aiming lasers for fucking Saturn, you know what I mean? If there's a defense there, whatever. Sexy Rexy is more than happy to spray hot passes all over the defense's chest. Who are we playing? The Lions? Pfft. Those guys aren't sexy. . . .

"What's that color the Lions wear? Honolulu Blue? Yeah, well I nailed six Hawaiian Tropic girls last week. So while those assholes are busy wearing Honolulu, I'm busy fucking it. Wore my mesh practice top the whole time, too. And in front of a mirror. Ever stick your finger up your own ass? God, it just felt so right.

"Jesus, now that you told me I'm playing Detroit, I'm all fucking hot. God dammit. I gotta go throw something. Now. I just... I just can't take the anticipation. It's driving me buc wild. Such a depleted secondary. So many long, long throws. You know I accidentally fucked Olin Kreuntz once? True story."

On Blogs, Bloggers, and Pat Conroy

Joseph Rago had an excellent little essay about blogging in yesterday's Opinion Journal. His criticisms of the blogosphere are all precisely on target, the main thrust of them being,

The blogs are not as significant as their self-endeared curators would like to think. Journalism requires journalists, who are at least fitfully confronting the digital age. The bloggers, for their part, produce minimal reportage. Instead, they ride along with the MSM like remora fish on the bellies of sharks, picking at the scraps. . . .

Every conceivable belief is on the scene, but the collective prose, by and large, is homogeneous: A tone of careless informality prevails; posts oscillate between the uselessly brief and the uselessly logorrheic; complexity and complication are eschewed; the humor is cringe-making, with irony present only in its conspicuous absence; arguments are solipsistic; writers traffic more in pronouncement than persuasion . . .

[J]ournalism as practiced via blog appears to be a change for the worse. That is, the inferiority of the medium is rooted in its new, distinctive literary form. Its closest analogue might be the (poorly kept) diary or commonplace book, or the note scrawled to oneself on the back of an envelope--though these things are not meant for public consumption. The reason for a blog's being is: Here's my opinion, right now. . . .

This element--here's my opinion--is necessarily modified and partly determined by the right now. Instant response, with not even a day of delay, impairs rigor. It is also a coagulant for orthodoxies. We rarely encounter sustained or systematic blog thought--instead, panics and manias; endless rehearsings of arguments put forward elsewhere; and a tendency to substitute ideology for cognition. . . .


Naturally, many bloggers objected to this criticism, although in general, the mode of their objections tended to support, rather than refute, Rago's thesis. To take just one example, conservative cartoonist Chris Muir, who combines the intellectual curiosity of Gary Trudeau with the wit of Aaron McGruder, penned a strip attacking the Rago thesis for a missing period. The punch line to the strip was a rip-off of the "Halp us Jon Carry" banner that conservative bloggers touted so often in the days before the 2006 election. One could hardly think of a better example of either solipsism or derivation.

As far as the rest of Rago's arguments go, I will not, as a courtesy, provide links, but I would encourage readers to think back to the early days of November--and even on Election Day--when many parts of the conservative blogosphere pronounced, over and over and over, about how wrong the polls, the "experts," professional journalists, and the mainstream media were going to be about the impending midterm election. One could hardly think of a better example of a mob based on a collective delusion.

What bloggers always seem to miss in their angry reactions to criticisms such as Rago's, is that the criticism is of the medium, not the writers. When most "professional" writers ply their art on blogs, the results are little better. As Exhibit A, I would point to this useless blog. But if you need Exhibits B, C, D, and E, I'd suggest looking at the blog-work of professional journalists such as Gregg Easterbrook, Lee Siegel, Andrew Sullivan, and James Wolcott--whose blogging careers have been so terrible that they have at least damaged, and perhaps even destroyed, their reputations as serious people. And as a counterexample, I'd suggest looking to the non-blog writings of bloggers such as Scott Johnson and Dean Barnett, which are often quite valuable.

In other words, the criticism of blogs as a medium is not a personal criticism of bloggers, it is an intellectual argument about the nature of things. That so many bloggers cannot understand that distinction is, again, an argument in support of it.

(It should go without saying, of course, that not all blogs are worthless and not all traditional writing is valuable. One can admit and enjoy exceptions while still making reasonable generalized arguments.)

**

On a vaguely related topic, yesterday my friends Dean Barnett and Scott Johnson both linked approvingly to a Pat Conroy essay drawn from his memoir My Losing Season. It is understandable that conservatives would search for any port in a storm, but Conroy is one port from which they should probably steer clear. This is not for ideological reasons, but because Conroy's "memoir" is not 100 percent true. I'll quote at length from Dave McKenna's January 10, 2003 Washington City Paper report on another famous incident from My Losing Season:

Alums of one of D.C.'s oldest prep schools have been buzzing ever since the Washington Post printed an excerpt from My Losing Season, the new memoir by Pat Conroy. . . .

The biggest buzz created by the Post excerpt came not from Conroy's academic portrayals but from the vivid description of a brawl that the writer recalls as having taken place in the Gonzaga auditorium in May 1961, during the annual athletic banquet and awards ceremony. The unquestioned king of the Daddy Dearest novel writes that the brouhaha really got going after he was knocked out for the second time that night by--no surprise here--his dear old dad. According to the text, his father decided that the boy deserved the double beat-down for playing a prank on another student.

"The second backhand caught me on the left jaw, harder than the first, and I went down to the floor again," Conroy writes. "Then a free-for-all began." In the book, the younger Conroy came to just in time to drag his bad dad out of the auditorium and save him from other Gonzaga fathers--"an angry mob of men"--who wanted a piece of the perpetrator of a very visible act of child abuse.

"They had no idea who my father was and did not care," Conroy writes. "They saw a stranger knock a Gonzaga boy to his knees and came roaring to my defense."

A public man-boy pummeling? Two knockouts in one night? Sure sounds like memorable stuff, and it will no doubt make for some fine movie scenes. But the all-hands brawl Conroy describes doesn't have a big place in Gonzaga lore. In fact, until the Post story ran, it apparently didn't have any place.

"I think Conroy got everything else about Gonzaga right, so I don't know why this wouldn't be right, too," says John Carmody, Gonzaga's general counsel and one of four generations of Carmodys to attend the school--the gym is named after his father. "But I'd never heard that story before.

Carmody suggests that William Bennett would be able to confirm Conroy's account. In the book excerpt, Conroy places himself behind Bennett, the high-profile moralist and member of Gonzaga's class of '61, during the fateful awards ceremony.

"Mr. Bennett says he was at the function, but he can't recall that scuffle," says Jeff Kwitowski, Bennett's spokesperson. "He can't verify any scuffle."

Chris Warner, a Gonzaga classmate whom the excerpt places next to Conroy earlier in the banquet, also says he didn't see any fight.

Buchanan, who keeps close ties to the school and is involved in the alumni organization, says he'd never heard about the big brawl, either. "That's quite a story, though, so after I read it [in the Post], I asked some of my brothers about the brawl, and they said they'd never heard it, either," says Buchanan, one of seven siblings to attend Gonzaga. He then adds with a laugh, "But he's some writer, isn't he?"

"This is such a personal memoir, we didn't do any fact-checking," says George Solomon, the Post's sports editor. "We trust Mr. Conroy, with his reputation, for its accuracy."

One Gonzaga-ite who had heard about the banquet brawl is Danny Costello, class of '72, now vice president for development at the school. He got it right from the horse's mouth.

"Pat Conroy came here about 12 years ago and I walked the halls with him, and he told me a story of his father's kicking his ass at a school dinner," says Costello. "I'd never heard that story from anybody before or since, until the book came out."

Costello says he understands why the Post piece left some Gonzaga alums wondering why they'd never heard more about the brawl. He hasn't been able to answer their questions.

"I see why some people could question the account [that appeared in the Post]: He describes being dazed and not aware after getting hit, yet he also describes in great detail everything that was going on around him. How the hell does that happen?" Costello says. "But was there a rumble, and did the brawl happen the way the book says it did? I guess only one man knows all the answers, and that's Pat Conroy. But I really think it's irrelevant. That's the way he remembers it. Everything he writes, his dad beats him up--I know he gets pounded in The Great Santini and The Prince of Tides--and stories about his dad beating him up are in every article that's ever been written about the guy. So nobody should be surprised that he gets beat up in this book, too."

Buchanan says he's also ready to let Conroy's brawl story stand as written. But he admits that the episode reminded him of the travails of Gonzaga alum Joe Ellis, class of '61. Ellis, a Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer, had his career derailed when it came out that he'd padded his resume with a fictional stint with the U.S. Army in Vietnam. As the press was piling on Ellis, it also came out that he'd bragged to the Boston Globe about catching a game-winning touchdown pass in his final game on the Gonzaga football team. Ellis never played football.

"But now, whenever anybody brings up the Joe Ellis touchdown story," Buchanan says, "I just tell them I [threw] that pass."

After being asked through e-mail and phone messages to confirm his account of the Gonzaga free-for-all, Conroy responded through his literary agent, Marly Russoff. "No one saw him get hit," Russoff says, "and he did not discuss it with anyone."


Conroy was scheduled to appear at a book signing in downtown D.C. shortly after McKenna's article appeared. He canceled the appearance.

If the Andrew Sullivan experience taught bloggers nothing, it should have been the valuable lesson that some allies aren't worth having.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

No Blogging Today

For me, the grief is still too near.

Go Nuggets.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Big News

Expect increased coverage of arena football on SportsCenter.

You're Living in Fuck City!

Just came across this Talk of the Town item on the William Beaver House, a condo complex going up in New York's financial district. The hook for the WB is, well, here's Lauren Collins's description:
William Beaver House, a fifty-two-story condominium “specially designed,” its promotional materials assert, “for New York’s highest achievers.” Beaver—who is actually a spiffy cartoon rodent, given to international travel and fine brandies—is the project’s mascot as well as proto-inhabitant. His high achievements extend to every field but one: monogamous relationships. Recalling a coed dorm or the stew zoos of the nineteen-sixties, Beaver House is meant to be a place you can bring someone (or someones—many units include showers big enough for three). If not, pickup opportunities are part of the floor plan. See you at the sunken conversation pit!

If you still don't get it, go to the William Beaver website, click on "The William Beaver Experience," and check out the weird, sort-of-safe-for-work anime renderings of life at the Beav.

Of course, all of this is ripped from GOB Bluth's brilliant ideas:
GOB: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."

GOB: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."

GOB: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in Fuck City!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Quick Media Aside

Mike Kinsley is being hired to write an occassional column for Time. Howie Kurtz has the story here. Kinsley has the following to say about his new employers, who are already cutting 550 jobs and are expected to cut more. Time, he says,
"has a bigger bounce than you would expect. They're also paying me well and it's secure."

First, condescend to your new employer. Then brag about your salary. Then rub it in the noses of the people at the magazine who are about to lose their jobs.

Does anyone else remember the summer of 1998 when Si Newhouse offered Kinsley the editorship of the New Yorker? Kinsley, not content to simply say yes and take the best job in all of letters, needed time to think about it. He hemmed and hawed. Newhouse, sensing that Kinsley wasn't really into it, withdrew the offer. Kinsley said he wouldn't discuss the incident.

He promptly went and sent a nearly company-wide email detailing the entire courtship process, concluding with this bit of (counterintuitive!) gentility:
Maybe 15 minutes later I get back to the hotel room and there's a message: Call Si Newhouse. I call and he says, You seem reluctant. I say, It's a big decision, but if I do it I assure you I'll be energetic and enthusiastic. He says, I'm starting to feel reluctant too. I think it would be better to call it off. No apology.

After some stunned mumbling, I say, This is going to be embarrassing to both of us. He asks me to say that I had withdrawn my name. I say I'm not going to lie about it, but I'll decline to discuss it. He mumbles something and I mumble something and we hang up.

On reflection (about two minutes' reflection), I decided I was not inclined to do him the favor of not discussing it.

I mention all of this not because you or I should shed a tear for Newhouse, but to note that this could have no effect other than to demean whoever did eventually get the New Yorker job by making it publicly known that they were, at best, the second choice.

At least that story has a happy ending because you know, David Fucking Remnick.

Who's basically Proust, Batman, and Tom Brady rolled into one.

Still, that Kinsley's a class act.

The Mamba Gets Jealous

Winnger for Most Ironic Comment Ever goes to Kobe, who said this after Gilbert Arenas dropped 60 on him while the Wizards beat the Lakers in L.A.:
"First of all, he shot 27 free throws. We as a team shot 30. Think about that. But him individually, it's funny, he doesn't really seem to have that much of a conscience. I really don't think he does. Some of the shots that he took tonight, you miss those, they're just terrible shots, awful shots. You make them and they're unbelievable shots."

The mind staggers to try to find a comparison. Make your own.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Dumbest Harry Potter Interpretation Ever?

Galley Reader P.G. sends us this short piece about new Harry Potter David Yates, who's at the healm of the film version of Order of the Phoenix. Here's a clip from the piece:
"Phoenix," the fifth book in author J. K. Rowlings's series, is by far the most ideological, and seems allusive to post-9/11 politics. Harry knows that the evil Lord Voldemort has been reborn and is building an army, but the wizarding government, the Ministry of Magic, refuses to believe him. At Hogwarts, a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the ministry's Dolores Umbridge, won't teach the students actual defense spells, under the pretense of protecting them. As the world grows more dangerous, and Umbridge restricts more and more of the students' personal freedoms, Harry and his pals form a secret club to teach themselves how to battle Voldemort and his minions. "It's like the French Resistance movement of the 1940s," Heyman says. Which is right up Yates's alley. "There's a really interesting principle at the heart of this story," says Yates, in an exclusive NEWSWEEK interview. "The ministry is this bureaucratic authoritarian regime trying to impose a fundamental doctrine on this liberal wacky school. The ministry isn't very good at accepting the beauty of differences. Everything has to fit in a box, and if it doesn't fit, it must be removed. The wonderful thing this story tells kids is that it's OK to be different."

Except that that's exactly not the point of Order of the Phoenix. The message is more properly understood as: The world is a dangerous place and sometimes, no matter how deep in the sand you try to stick your head, bad people will try to kill you. If you refuse to fight back, you're a willing accomplice to evil. Hogwarts isn't a whacky liberal enclave--it's Sandhurst, where Churchill is teaching a rising generation of warriors how to fight the battle their parents shirked. And the Ministry of Magic isn't John Ashcroft's Justice Department or the Catholic Church or whatever other repressive, patriarchical, neanderthal hive Yates might want to equate it with: It's the frackin' League of Nations.

At least, that's what I took away from Order of the Phoenix. But maybe I'm just a neocon warmonger. Tell me where I'm wrong.

The Last Word on Tom Brady

It belongs, of course, to Blog Crush Classic:
This chick might as well go gay because no dude is gonna wanna follow Tom Brady. He won the Super Bowl three times, he's richer than most countries and he looks like a damn model. I made a list of the guys who have more to offer a girl than Tom Brady:

1. Bruce Wayne

And that was pretty much it.

The Nintendo Difference

This piece on the corporate structure of Nintendo could have (should have) appeared in the WSJ. Highly interesting.

How to Bake a Tragedy

(1) Take fresh injury.

(2) Add insult.

(3) Mix well.

It keeps getting worse. The Inky is now reporting:
As the 76ers decide when and where to trade Allen Iverson, they are seeking the advice of former 76ers coach Larry Brown, who is acting as a consultant to team president Billy King as the latter sifts through the many offers for the temperamental guard.

Brown moved back to the Philadelphia area weeks ago after being fired as coach of the New York Knicks last summer. . . .

Brown's longtime agent, Joe Glass, confirmed that Brown was again working with the Sixers.

"He's a friend of the family," Glass said. "I guess that's the best way to put it. He's good friends with Billy, with Mo [Cheeks], with Ed [Snider, the team's chairman]. I guess they want to pick his brain. It's as non-exotic a situation as you can have. They're just picking his brain, which is good."

Because Brown only, you know, WRECKED THE FUCKING FRANCHISE with this fickle trades back when he was with the team. And then left the team in the lurch after limp-wristing them through a playoff series with his future employer. And then, after being given a free-pass out of his contract by the Sixers organization, publicly trashed Iverson, helping to push his trade value down.

This is like the Secret Service reanimating the corpse of Lee Harvey Oswald to consult with it on presidential security.

Bonus: Galley Brother B.J. writes:
Am I the only one who wouldn’t be even remotely surprised if Brown traded AI for a 2nd round pick then took over as head coach of the team he just traded Iverson to? You wouldn’t be shocked if he screwed the 76ers again to help his career would you?


Update: So Iverson is leading the East in all-star ballotting for guards. How awesome would it be if the Sixers keep dangling him, the all-star break comes, and Iverson starts the game wearing a generic Eastern Conference jersey?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Cirsumvrenting

What could make you love Blog Crush II even more? How about this:

"What, like a guy wearing a $10,000 suit isn't making the playoffs? Come on!"

Great News, Sad News

Both from the same story. The sad news is that Lindsay Davenport announced yesterday that she has "no plans to play again." Davenport was an impossibly likeable player, one of the few grownups in the women's game, and a great champion. Hard not to love her.

The good news is that she's leaving the game just as she's become pregnant. Tell me this isn't the best way to retire:
"I hate the word 'retirement,' but this season was such a struggle physically for me, and I can't imagine playing again," Davenport said by phone from her home in Southern California. "I can't say there's any sadness, yet, about missing tennis. My life is with my husband and my future child.

"I feel like the second part of my life is about to begin, and I feel so lucky that if everything goes well, I'm able to go out like this. The timing couldn't be better," she said.

Good for her.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Matt Damon = The Real Deal

Pajiba sends us to this excellent clip of Matt Damon doing a stone-cold impersonation of Matthew McConaughey.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Easterbrook Donnybrook

Blog Crush II takes aim at Gregg Easterbrook. It's way too mean to be a simple drive-by. My guess is that the Christmas Ape knows Easterbrook and requested the hit.

Still, it's kind of awesome:

I'm So Classy, I Say Cognomen Instead of Nicknames: Reader Frank Johnson of Greenwich, CT, writes, "TMQ, you are so smart. I wish I could be smart like you. But I'm not. I want to hang myself. Anyway, in an attempt to sound as erudite as you, I propose nicknaming the Denver Broncos the Denver Kimchiwannawannnadingdongs, which is ancient Mandarin for 'horses that run'. I'd also like you to use this nickname at all times so that readers won't know what team you're talking about." Mr. Data, make it so!


Here's the giveaway line, though, that shows a tiny bit too much insider knowledge of TMQ:

Wacky Food Of The Week: Last week, TMQ ate at Citronelle, a four-star restaurant in DC that commoners like yourself wouldn't be allowed in. But, since I'd like to identify with you, I want to tell you about the wacky things on the menu! Like the venison with truffle ragout! Doesn't that sound crazy?! It sure does to TMQ, though TMQ knows damn well that venison and truffles are an inspired pairing. Your haute cuisine frightens and confuses me, Mr. Chef man. But not really.

Oh Ye Mortals, Trifle Not With The (Clearly Christian) Football Gods: Pittsburg of Kansas ran up the score again! TMQ is fucking pissed! Football is for learning! The coach of Pittsburg is clearly a point-grubbing Jew.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Milan--Worse than Philly?

Are Milan's opera fans worse than Philly sports fans? You be the judge:
MILAN, Italy (Reuters) -- Top tenor Roberto Alagna stormed off stage after he was booed in the middle of a performance at Milan's La Scala opera house, forcing a costumeless substitute to replace him and drawing criticism from organizers.

"There has been an obvious lack of respect towards the public and the theatre," La Scala's artistic director, Stephane Lissner, said in statement on Monday, calling the incident regrettable.

French-born Alagna, known as "the fourth tenor" and hailed by some critics as the new Pavarotti, had been playing the lead male role in Franco Zeffirelli's lavish production of Verdi's Aida, which launched La Scala's new season last Thursday.

But minutes into the show's second performance on Sunday night, a small section of the audience began booing Alagna, who had just finished singing an aria, apparently displeased about comments he had made about La Scala's demanding audience.

The 43-year old, already upset by some of the reviews he earned for his performance on the opening night, raised his fist defiantly and walked out, leaving stunned fellow singer Ildiko Komlosi to sing "a duet on my own."

After a few moments of embarrassment, with some in the audience shouting "Shame on you!", understudy Antonello Palombi jumped in and carried on singing wearing a pair of jeans and a black shirt for lack of a costume.

Bet La Scala doesn't give up Alagna for Jerry Stackhouse and Austin Fucking Croshere.

Moorestown, Triumphant?

Remember back in July of 2005 when Money magazine named Moorestown, NJ the #1 town in all of America? I went on a somewhat unbecoming tirade because, while I love my hometown and would suggest it as a great place to live and have a family, it clearly isn't the best town in South Jersey, let alone America. (There was a part 2 to the tirade. Just for good measure.)

On Saturday, The Pig sent along this story about drugs in Moorestown's high school:
A search at one of the most elite public high schools in the region turned up "significant" amounts of cocaine, amphetamines, diet pills, marijuana, prescription drugs, and drug paraphernalia, school authorities said last night.

The drugs were found at Moorestown High - a school flush with Advanced Placement courses, where 94 percent of students go on to college and where most participate in extracurricular activities.

After an investigation by school officials, six students were questioned by authorities Wednesday, searched, and given drug tests and arrested, interim district Superintendent Timothy Brennan said. . . .

"I sense that the results of the high school administration's investigation are an indication of a larger problem," Brennan said.

The mood in Moorestown High, which has about 1,300 students, was edgy, Brennan said.

"There's been more of a sense of unrest at the high school," he said. "Some of the students are upset and surprised that this happened at their school. Some are wondering what the future holds."

I'll be the editors at Money are thrilled this morning that they didn't name Moorestown America's #1 town this year.

Bonus: If you want more dish, there's a Fark comments thread on the story.

Friday, December 08, 2006

PSA

Galley Brother B.J. sends a link to this story with the advice: "Never go swimming in Corpus Christi. Ever."

Sounds about right to me.

Geek Alert

Here's Jane Espenson talking about the two episodes of BSG she's written.

I need a cigarette.

Letters From Iwo Jima

The great Todd McCarthy reports:
"All Quiet on the Western Front" was about Germans in World War I, but from a pacifist p.o.v.; "Tora! Tora! Tora!" included the Japanese angle on Pearl Harbor; the central characters in "The Blue Max" and "Cross of Iron" were Germans. Scattered other examples certainly exist. All the same, there are few moments in Hollywood cinema of any era as oddly unsettling as the one here, in which an American Marine charges toward the protagonists and is so manifestly perceived as the enemy.

That unfortunate young man is bayonetted to death by his Japanese captors. But the film's true intent comes across the second time a Yank is nabbed by the doomed members of the Imperial Army, when the injured grunt movingly establishes an unlikely bond with his aristocratic Japanese interrogator. There were compelling reasons why the war was fought, but the unusual focus of "Letters" is the humanity of the Japanese soldiers who longed for home just like anyone else, knowing they would never leave the tiny strip of land alive.

Naturally, U.S. war films of the era painted the Japanese as the most maniacal and barbaric of fighters, and many veterans and historians, Americans, Chinese and others, insist this was true. Pic might have done well to mention the emperor's endorsement of the "Death Before Surrender" edict of early 1945. But "Letters" makes the case that even the Japanese were divided among themselves.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Fugway

Fug Girl Heather on some actress you've never heard of:
She looks a bit like the eccentric costume master of a high-school drama department, who is method-prepping for this year's production of Oliver Fame--the heartwarming story of an orphan and his merry band of pickpockets who are punished for trying to rob a bakery by being tossed into a prestigious song-and-dance academy. Oh, sure, it damages their street cred, but slowly these young rapscallions melt under the tutelage of Debbie Allen. They stop stealing cash and start stealing hearts, learning important lessons about honesty, rhythm, the true meaning of family, and jazz hands.

LiLo, Brit-Brit, and Paris on NFL QB's

Blog Crush sister blog With Leather sends us to this unbelievably vile, incredibly funny, skit. As they say, this is technically safe for work. But wow . . .



Robert Smigel is going to wish he'd come up with this first.

Stallone = Awesome?

To be honest, I'm pretty jacked up to see Rocky Balboa. There, I said it. It looks all kinds of awesome. Particularly since Mason "The Line" Dixon looks uncannily like Terrell Owens. Seeing TO getting beaten to pulp by Rocky on the bigscreen is the closest thing Philly fans are going to get to catharsis this year.

But even if you haven't bought in for this latest installment, you'll want to read AICN's Q & A session with Stallone. Sly is so funny, honest, and interesting that you'll think the whole thing was made up. (It's not.)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Screech Porn Is Here

Just in time for the holidays. This link is a safe-for-work summary written by someone who's been exposed to the stuff. There follows a not-safe-for-work link to the film itself.

Click if you dare.

Trailer City

Is this trailer for In the name of the King an elaborate joke?

The Transporter, Henry Hill, Leelee Sobieski, orcs, ninjas, Matthew Lillard, and . . . wait for it . . .

Burt Reynolds!

Massive Atari Archive

The geniuses at Intellectual Delinquent have posted a set of classic games you can play right in your web browser, including Frogger, Moon Patrol, Space Invaders, Asteroids, Donkey Kong, and Star Castle.

Enjoy.

‘A Christmas Story’: The Museum

Somehow I managed to get to age 27 without ever having seen The Christmas Story--despite the fact that my best friend was nicknamed "Ralphie." Now the NYT reports on Recreating ‘A Christmas Story’ Museuem in Cleveland.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Pig Is Back!

The Wershovenist Pig is back with posts on what the Taco Bell outbreak means for your portfolio and a babe-a-licious, barely-safe-for-work story from the NYT about . . . the Salvation Army. Seriously. Go check out what the enterprising NYT photo editor was up to.
There's no question what the Big Story of the Day is: NASA's announcement that we will be returning to the Moon to set up a base on its polar cap. Now even for science buffs like myself, there are many unanswered questions. For instance, why the polar cap? Won't it be freezing up there?

Secondly, is NASA really ready to return to the Moon? After all, its last venture there ended in tragedy. You've blocked it from your memory, haven't you? It was 1980 and the Americans and the Soviets launched a joint lunar mission to collect rocks and soil samples when suddenly two men and a woman were seen flying around in black plastic outfits (it may have been vinyl). One by one, the astronauts were killed and the three suspects continued on to Houston, Texas.

I really hope that doesn't happen again.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Death, Taxes, Sword of Beerzlewag

The government, eager to get its mits on every cent that changes hands, everywhere, no matter what, wants to start taxing the purchase of virtual goods in MMOGs. What does that mean? It means that if you're playing World of Warcraft or EverQuest and you buy virtual power-ups, the taxman will treat them as property.

It's like we're living in Soviet Russia. Get the CATO people on line one...
The PigTM sends a link to this delightful piece by Bryan Curtis.

Click and enjoy.