Monday, March 17, 2008

Michael Bay Blog Is Back!!!!!

That's right. The greatest invention in the history of the internets is back. Lawyers have chased him off of Blogger, but Michael Bay is posting little items in the CHUD forum (it's a little like that other Forum, but with movies). Items like this one, explaining the disappearance of the blog:

Okay, this Tom Cruise Katie Holmes thing.... Look, I've worked with more than a few scientologists. I'm not going to piss on their shit, and you know what, the female scientologists, I mean their thing has nothing against freaky deaky sex shit. So that's something. I met a cute Baptist chick in LA, and she was like "God's against anal" and I'm all like "Then God's against you working in this town, and God's name is Jerry Bruckheimer."

And you know what, I've hung out with Cruise cause me and Spielberg are tight these days, since I've did The Island for him, and my next picture is at the SKG house. I wasn't stoked on The Transformers until I did some research on my cut of possible ancilary benefits, and there really is more than meets the eye. But Tom's a good guy, and I would never imply that he's gay and has lovers. Or that Katie Holmes is doing this because she thinks it will break her out of television, and she and her people haven't even come up with how she and Tom met story because everyone in town knows it's a big lie, and Tom Cruise's performance on Oprah was worse than the one he gave in Interview with a Vampire, which was surely not his coded way of saying to world "Look, I'm kinda gay!" I would never in a million years say that.

What I will say is this: I fucked Katie Holmes. It was after The Gift, and as I was casting Bad Boys II. I told her I might give her the Peter Stormarre role (and she believed me!)

Giant thanks to Galley Hero M.R. for discovering this treasure trove. More to come.

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