Friday, October 14, 2005

Tucker, Online

MSNBC has gotten Tucker Carlson to do a blog, and if the first day is any indication, it's going to be a cross between Greg Gutfeld and the "Dear Riggo" section of SportsTalk 980's John Riggins Show. Here's Tucker dipping into the mailbag:
Q: Tucker, your flippant dismissal and ridicule of the religion I share with Tom Cruise was extremely offensive. I challenge you to find out why Tom and Katie's child will have a silent birth, whether you come to believe the reasons or not. The next time you have occasion to report on the subject, do it with respect.
—John C. Scott

A: Dear John, here's how "silent birth" is described on Scientology's web site: "In the book, Dianetics, L. Ron Hubbard writes that for the benefit of the mother and child, silence should be maintained during childbirth. This is because any words spoken are recorded in the reactive mind and can have an aberrative effect on the mother and the child."

Where to begin? There is no such thing as the "reactive mind." "Aberrative" is not a real word. Talking during childbirth doesn't hurt the child; not talking can. Doctors and nurses in the birthing room need to communicate with one other, and with the mother in labor. Silence during birth is dangerous. I could go on.

The point is, Scientology may be a "religion" (the IRS has concluded it is), but it is not a branch of science, and I don't plan to treat it as such, no matter what Tom Cruise says on the Today show. And speaking of Cruise, you ought to ditch him as a spokesman as soon as possible. He makes you all look bananas.

Yeah, baby!


That Dude said...

"There is no such thing as the "reactive mind."

Brilliant. This time next week, Scientologists will have sued NBC into giving them a Scientology Kiosk at theire HQ.

Bizarro Jack said...

topical humorous image:

Anonymous said...

We know Scientology will have attained religion status when the Scientology Center in Hollywood has burned to the ground and agents are running the ATF flag up the flagpole.

Oh, but remember there was child sexual abuse there...even if it was investigated more than once by the local authorities, (who determined it was the legal equivalent of common law marriage) it still grabs the media attention.

There may have also been machine guns, er - assault weapons, er - "gun parts" there as well.

When all else fails, they're religious extremists!!

Torch the place.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add to the above that it's amazing to me that liberals, Andrew Sullivan et al are fucking freaking out like 6th grade girls at the halloween scare-fest when a guy whose sole earthly purpose is the death of Americans has tits rubbed in his face with a little fake blood.

Recently several dozen people were set ablaze by federal law enforcement and because Clinton/Reno are responsible, I'm a fucking Idaho-Terry Nichols wierdo for bringing it up in this context.

I know this is a standard Carvillian tactic, but come the fuck on!!!

-the guy who posted the shit above about Waco.

Jay D. Homnick said...

Tucker is on target as usual. Although he passed up this obvious gibe: Was the insemination of Katie Holmes by turkey-baster done in silence as well?