Tuesday, May 20, 2008

More Indy

I'm prepared for George Lucas to continue his serial raping of my childhood this weekend. In fact, I'm already compiling a short list of other franchises he can defile. Maybe Starblazers? Or Mr. Rogers?

But maybe it won't be that bad. AICN's Massawyrm generally loves Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, although this kind of excuse-making faint praise sets off alarm bells for me:

As many have already said, Ford actually feels like he gives a shit again and turns in a great performance as the tired, old Archeologist turned war hero turned tenured professor always ready for another jaunt. Everyone else pulls their weight and does a great job despite their character’s general lack of depth. If there’s anyone here who has a thankless job, it is Shia who – coupled with Lucas’s “Oh I haven’t told Steve or Harrison yet but I might as well tell the press” bullshit – is having a ton of weight dumped on his shoulders. He’s fucking great in this, and much like many of his other projects proves once again to be one of the very best things about it. But he’s no Indiana Jones. That’s not his destiny. He’s an incredibly talented kid who is just one of us. And when I say one of us, I don’t mean one of the AICN crew. I mean one of US. You and me. Dork. Geek. Filmlover. Just another kid looking for a time machine.

And when you’re a 21-year-old kid asked by George Lucas and Steven fucking Spielberg to be in an Indiana Jones movie – you fucking do it. And when they say “Here kid, hold his hat for a second and look longingly off camera as if to intimate a possible sequel” – you fucking do it. But, man. Is he ever going to get eviscerated for fucking doing it.

Also, Massawyrm says that the new installment isn't Raiders but is every bit the equal of the other two Indian Jones movies. Umm, has anyone here seen Temple of Doom lately? It makes Return of the Jedi look like cinematic poetry. In fact, in a lot of ways it's a reprise of Jedi--or at least an extended re-enactment of the Endor and Ewok sequences.


Bryan Castañeda said...

Don't you find AICN reviews, especially Harry's, to be largely unreadable?

Toto said...

The AICN reviews are too fan-boy ish to be trusted as a guide for savvy film goers. Maybe that's precisely what they're supposed to be, but I don't wanna make excuses for movies like "Indy 4." I want to be blown out of my seat by them. Nothing doing with this one, sadly.