Thursday, October 02, 2008

Palin Precog!

Who knows, maybe Sarah Palin will be dreadfully outclassed tonight and John McCain's campaign will enter full Hindenberg mode. But whatever happens in the actual debate hardly matters to the media horde--they're going to say the same thing, no matter what.

So I invite readers now to try to out-parody the Palin criticisms ahead of time. I'll give it a shot first:

Palin's performance tonight marked the low-point in modern vice presidential history. By comparison, she made Dan Quayle look positively Solomonic. This red-neck moron with her hackneyed down-home manner was an embarrassment to the Republican party but most crucially to John McCain. No candidate for president ever dared to place someone as manifestly stupid and unqualified so close to the Oval Office. The fact that McCain chose this woman is, alone, reason enough for America to reject him root and branch.

I'm certain you can do better.


Anonymous said...

Palin shocked debate observers with her repeated invocation of some tired old conception of equal time and fairness in the debate, which highlighted the cleanliness of Democrat Presidential Nominee Barack Obama's shirts and his preference for World Peace as a global initiative. Moderator Gwen Ifill dismissed Palin's accusation that she and Senator Biden were ignoring her, suggesting that not making eye contact or allowing an opponent to speak is a common and very successful debate tactic.

Anonymous said...

I thought this guy did a superb job:

Anonymous said...

On Thursday night art imitated life as America glimpsed its first real, live Manchurian candidate. A woman who knows nothing, who has done nothing, whose aversion to the truth staggers the mind.

And finally the rest of America was able to fully comprehend why we've been so outraged from the beginning. She is a fraud, a harridan, a monster who would be worthy of our contempt if she weren't so far beneath it.

Anonymous said...

"What her candidacy says about him is far worse than what it says about her."

Even before the debate! Ezra Klein.


Anonymous said...

How did it come to this? How is it that one of the two major parties in this country come to choose a candidate for president so oblivious, so senile, and so pig- headed that he would pick this bubble- headed cheerleader to be a heartbeat away from the Oval office?

For those already drunk on the neocon/ social conservative kool- aid, Palin did not disappoint. But to this observer, the deficiencies in her knowledge regarding the most basic concepts of our system of government were simply staggering.

The most best thing that Mrs. Palin did tonight was choose to wear a black dress. Mourning clothes were appropriate given the death of civil discourse her candidacy has brought about.

Ken B said...

Sullivan: my bold:

Palin’s inability to answer real questions, her capacity to avoid follow-ups, her slightly manic quality, and her inability to relate to working class voters came across.

Anonymous said...

Sullivan definitely knows 'manic'. I would've prefered he used 'hysterical', that would've really shown the breeder!

Ken B said...

Oh, I forgot to mention. I was quoting Sullivan not parodying him. He actually said that.