The Onion once ran this memorable headline: "Doritos Celebrates One-Millionth Ingredient." Of course Doritos does not have anywhere near a million ingredients, but you get the point. So I could not help but be reminded of this when I recently came across a packet of "Zesty Onion Ring Sauce" at Burger King. Its color is vomit-orange and the flavor is similarly a hot acid. I cannot believe Shaquille O'Neal would lend his name to such a product (though he was never seen in the ads actually dipping into the sauce--he merely eats the Whopper and says, "Welcome to the King"). But reading the Zesty sauce's ingredients is a bit like that Onion parody:
soybean oil, water, prepared horseradish (horseradish, distilled vinegar, water, salt, soybean oil, artificial flavor), corn syrup, egg yolk, distilled vinegar, tomato paste (tomatoes, salt, spices, natural flavors, citric acid), salt, sugar, spice, xantham gum, propylene glycol alginate, lemon juice concentrate, beet powder, natural flavor, extractive of annatto, calcium disodium EDTA added to protect flavor.
Somehow, every time you order onion rings, Burger King insists on giving you this Satanic concoction--one that contains 150 calories per packet (140 of which come from fat). Let it be said that I have always had a passion for fast food and I always will. But I now draw the line on the Zesty sauce. I hope you will too.
7 hours ago