There Is Another...

I am here to tell you all that the rumor about possible nudity in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is wholly unfounded. You hadn't heard that rumor? Neither had I, but I had always held out a New Hope. In fact, the moment of conception seems to have taken place between episodes two and three. Padme breaks the good news to Anakin when he returns from having rescued Chancellor Palpatine from the clutches of the droid leader Grievous...

Okay, I am already uncontrollably letting loose--that is, with the details of Episode III, which I have just seen this afternoon. In the interest of Star Wars fans, I am providing a few potential spoilers at the end of this item. So beware! But without spilling all the Bantha poodoo, I hereby give my abbreviated review:

Yes, Revenge of the Sith is by far the best of the first three--indeed, it might tie Return of the Jedi. That is to say, it is still well below the Empire Strikes Back and Episode IV. And yes, the film is very dark. Acting perfs are adequate across the board, although this prequel may have pushed Ian McDiarmid's thespian skills to the limit. Hayden Christensen is believable enough, though clearly outshined while in the presence of Ewan McGregor and the always tantalizing Natalie Portman. As anticipated, there is more than enough violence to share among the star systems. One scene in particular--even though it is merely suggested--makes obvious why the movie is rated PG-13. Also, the film does a pretty good job of tying up most loose ends, though there is one glaring inconsistency.

On a scale of 1-10, I give Episode III a 6.

And now for the POTENTIAL SPOILERS:

From a design point of view, Lucas deserves much credit. We see the precursors to the AT-ST, the imperial shuttle, consular ships, X-wings, and TIE fighters. Some have the TIE cockpit glass while others have the X-wing fuselage but the TIE wings. (The fighters we see near the end of the movie already mimic the sound of the later TIE fighters.)

The first 25 minutes of the movie are pure action. But it is almost blinding, with all the laser fire coming from all directions. One early casualty: R4. May he rest in pieces.

The last 10 minutes are the most intriguing, as they bring us as close to the beginning of Episode IV as possible, including our meeting of Captain Antilles.

Chewbacca looks so much younger.

Remember when Luke asks Leia in Return of the Jedi if she remembers her mother? She says her mother was always sad and died when Leia was very young. (You have no idea just how young.) This is the major inconsistency I previously mentioned.

You cannot help but get the numerous antiwar messages being passed on to us from Padme. In one instance, she complains about the war being fought longer than necessary and how it is urgent we resort to diplomatic channels. When Palpatine declares an end to the Republic and the birth of a Galactic Empire and the Senate cheers him on, Padme says, "So this is how liberty dies. To thunderous applause."

The robots in the baby delivery room look like something out of The Jetsons. Not a single Ugnaught among them!

R2-D2 knows all. So why didn't he say anything in later episodes? Was he (yes, I assume the robot is male) keeping it his little secret? Because he could have saved us a whole lot of trouble later on. (R2 is also the designated comic relief of the movie.)

Grand Moff Tarkin (perhaps not yet that rank) makes a brief appearance.

Okay, that is all I have to say about this movie. Ever again. But at least I have closure. Apologies to those who might have stumbled upon some of the spoilers.