Alas, I suppose I can take solace in the impending comeback of Martina Hingis. Has there ever been a better female tennis player ever? You can keep your Fraulein Forehands, Chris Evert-Lloyds and Tracy 'I'd Like To Fuck Her On The Tennis Court, If You Get My Meaning' Austins of the world — your Uncle Grambo has never EVER seen anyone with a sicker groundstroke game than The Swiss Miss. And I'll kindly have you remember that she would regularly whoop on Venus and Serena before her feet went wonky in 2000 or thereabouts. And come on, 14 Grand Slam titles? Redonk, especially for someone who was forced to retire at the tender age of deuce deuce. Welcome back, Hingis!
I don't know that I'd go that far--for my money, Steffie Graff is the greatest women's player I've ever seen. And I wonder what would have become of Monica Seles if she hadn't been cut down in her prime. But it would be nice to have a resurgent Hingis back in the game, none the less.