Friday, February 17, 2006

No More Happy Endings

The sheriff of Spotsylvania County, Va., has announced that his detectives, while pursuing suspected prostitutes, will no longer go all the way with them and then charge them with said crime. In bringing down the nearby Moon Spa, local law enforcers spent $1,200 in "massages" and one officer even left a $350 tip. Sheriff Howard Smith said the repeated visits were necessary "so detectives could build trust with the operators" and that sexual contact was required for a conviction.

But, as noted by the Associated Press, "law enforcement officials say undercover officers only need to get an offer of sex for money to move the case forward."

On the other hand, Sheriff Smith said his men needed the sex "because most professionals know not to say anything incriminating. And conversation is difficult, he said, because masseuses at the Asian-run parlors in the northern Virginia county speak little English."

Good point. And besides, haven't we all seen Full Metal Jacket?


Anonymous said...

Another blow to law enforcement. Never mind policie recruiting. I suppose they will now have to stop letting burglars break in to homes and murderers from pulling the trigger to make sure of conviction.

Anonymous said...

Good point. And besides, haven't we all seen Full Metal Jacket?

Sure, but tell JVL that more have seen Narnia than Kong.

Anonymous said...

I think it would be wiser to post this anonymously for reasons that may become clear.

My business obligations forced me to drive long distances through states where those Oriental spas are ubiquitous - such as Indiana, Tennessee and Georgia.

Many times I took the opportunity to break up a long drive by spending a half-hour in one of those places. Over the years I went to at least five or six different spas, some of them multiple times.

They ask 40 or 50 dollars for a half-hour, 60 or 75 for a full hour, and frankly they give amazing massages. The level of English speaking varies; the longer a girl has been there, the greater her fluency.

It was always clear to me that if you ask for more, they would give you some higher price to make it sexual. Twice I can recall them trying to get that message to me by various hints. Sometimes they ask, "Are you a cop?", which is itself a giveaway.

But I always acted stupid, enjoyed my massage and got back on the road very invigorated.

Anonymous said...


Spotsylvania. Isn't that where Monica's blue dress was hidden?

Jay D. Homnick said...

They were doing a Dracula sequel and a 101 Dalmatians sequel; when there was not enough money for both, they merged them and filmed in Spotsylvania.

Anonymous said...

For the love of the infant baby Jesus, stop posting about Narnia/Kong. It's so old. Let it go.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous said...
Another blow to law enforcement."

Well, not necessarily...

Could have been some other type of sexual conduct.