Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Onion for Evangelicals

Galley Friend D.E. points us to, which is basically The Onion for Christers. And get this: It's funny. Really, really funny. Take this headline from today:
Rapture takes two

OTTAWA — The Rapture occurred March 31, 2005, at 9:43 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time and took both people on the planet whose theology was exactly correct.

Dan Wilson of Ottawa, Canada, was snatched away while sleeping.

"He spent years refining his eschatological scheme," says his wife. "Just last week he told me he had it all right, but I still disagreed with him on a minor point. I regret that now."

Rejna Thanawalla of New Delhi, India, also experienced the Rapture, say friends.

"She knew exactly what the books of Revelation and Daniel meant," they say. "Sadly, none of us listened to her."

In a surprise, Tim LaHaye says he was "slightly wrong on the subject of the Beast," and was left behind. Other prophecy experts say they, too, botched minor points in their end times charts.

"Looks like we'll have to stay and wait this out," said one disappointed pastor.

There's lots more gold over at LarkNews, too. Worth your valuable time.


That Dude said...

That Christian Onion is in two most decidedly un-Christian words.....FUCKING HILARIOUS.

WWB said...

Not being particularly religious, and definitely having had my fill of Onion knockoffs, I was highly dubious when I clicked over -- but I laughed, all right. Especially at "When he prophesies, it's in pirate."

And I learned from an apparently legit ad along the side that CBS is looking specifically for an evangelical for the next Survivor -- to argue with/suprrisingly befriend a militant atheist, no doubt.

Raoul Ortega said...


Is that what the stylebook says we should be calling them now?