Before we happily close the case on the missing boy in Utah, now found and with his family, we should give pause and thank God for returning him alive after those grueling four days ... that he no doubt spent aboard an alien spacecraft.

You think I'm joking? Let's look at what we know so far. According to the fittingly named Forrest Nunley, who found 11-year-old Brennan Hawkins, he "turned a corner and there was a kid standing in the middle of the trail...." As if he was just dropped off. The boy said he ate and drank nothing for those missing days. The aliens do not know what we eat or drink! Summit County sheriff David Edmunds also said Brennan "was in no mood to give us a lot of details..." That is because he has no details to report. They wiped his memory! Almost immediately after getting his necessary human nutrition, Brennan then "wanted to play a video game on one of the searchers' cell phones." Just like with a Speak & Spell, he was obviously using the phone to communicate with his new masters. Authorities also described the boy as delirious. Wouldn't you be after visiting Alpha Centauri?