The Wershovenist Pig is on the case, researching Wendy's decision to spin-off Tim Horton and Baja Fresh.
I didn't even know that Wendy's owned Baja Fresh in the first place, although I should have guessed it, since Baja is to Chipotle almost exactly as Wendy's is to McDonald's.
1 hour ago
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Once, on a Sunday night about ten p.m., with three kids in the car, I got a flat somewhere between Toronto and Windsor. I got out in the freezing cold and changed the tire. But I had no full-sized spare, only the donut. I figured that I had no choice but to try to drive a hundred miles or more on the donut, perhaps stay overnight in Detroit, fix or buy a tire Monday morning.
Suddenly I get spinning cop colors in my mirror.
I pull over, puzzled; I wasn't speeding or otherwise in violation of the law.
The officer sidles up to my window and informs me that if I persist in driving three kids in a car with an inadequate tire he will have to toss me into the clink. Too dangerous.
"Okay, but what should I do?"
"Pull into this town right here and you'll see a garage at the first light. I called ahead; they're expecting you; they'll fix you up."
Every short story in an Alfred Hitchcock collection, every scary movie, echoed in my head. This was a bad dream. Oldest scam in the book. Cop pulls you into town. Garage charges you a fortune, makes you put it on your credit card. And who knows what further indignity they had in store? Sell me four tires and a new transmission for three thousand dollars? That might be getting off lightly.
In the end, all the fears were proven to be the absurd product of American faux-sophistication.
The people in the garage were nice beyond belief. They sold me a used tire that was in decent condition, and they charged me only 35 dollars (Canadian). All this at almost 11 p.m. on a brutally cold Sunday night. Just gosh-darn nice folks.
But where did the kids and I spend that half-hour while the fellas worked on the car? At the Tim Horton's that was wide open for business with a couple of super-sweet waitresses cluck-clucking over our predicament.
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