Thursday, November 17, 2005

Keep Matus Away from Sharp Objects

Technology continues its enslavement of mankind with this evil device, the Capton Wireless Liquor Monitoring System:
Capton’s Beverage Tracker system is an innovative liquor monitoring system that helps bar owners increase their liquor profits by providing real-time wireless liquor consumption data to help prevent against shrinkage. Our system help you identify over-pours and drink giveaways. Think of it as an electronic journal of everything that happens within your bar operations. Remember, you can’t manage what you can’t measure!

Read: No more heavy-pouring bartenders or rounds on the house. Just one more example of how the internet is ruining the world.


Anonymous said...

Nah, it's not really the internet, it's the socialists that have to control everything.

I first made acquantaince with this development when the "Big M" opened in Seacaucus back in the 70s, via the low-tech version: Racks of booze with upside down bottles and counters on the pre-measured 7/8's of an ounce shots, not to mention the numbered beer cups (because the original "stick counters" on the taps were a failure.

Ironically enough, the Internet is actually the solution -- now I place bets at the "Big M" from the comfort of my DSL connection whilst sipping on tumblers of bourbon and quarts of beer :-)

TexasPatrick said...

I've known bartenders to buy their own hooch to keep behind the counter, in order to reward the big tippers. It also keeps the transaction all cash, and strictly between the bartender and his customers. The owner is merely responsible for overhead . . .

Bizarro Jack said...

This is unacceptable. I'm writing my representatives immediately.

Wershoven said...

The maker of this device provides a helpful page of testimonials about the effectiveness of the pouring device.

How is it helpful? It's a list of bars to avoid. Could be more helpful if most weren't in Chicago.
Metro Bar (Chicago)

"In the first month of use, over-pouring has ceased and my liquor costs are down 10%"
Nob Hill Bar & Grill (Kalamazoo, Michigan)

"Capton's Beverage Tracker system reduced my pour costs by 11% in the first month of use."
Diversey River Bowl (Chicago)

"We finally have an understanding of our bar and liquor use. We've been improving our service, understanding our costs, and improving our profits."
Sam'z Club (Vancouver, BC)

"Capton's Beverage Tracker system has made it very easy to identify where the shrinkage problems in my bar operations are occurring and it allows me to isolate shortages of a particular brand. "
Hunt Club (Chicago)

“Capton's Beverage Tracker enables manager’s to make veteran bartenders more aware of pours without slowing down customer service”.
Voyeur Nightclub (Chicago)

"The bar staff is careful about how much they pour. That's the best part about it."

Anonymous said...

I own a bar and I've been looking for something like this for a long time. Obviously most of the comments being made here are from people who know nothing about how much liquor theft can affect a bar's bottom line. The difference with this system is, you can still reward your good customers with heavy drinks because this product isn't a control system, it's a monitoring system. Would you rather go to a bar that has a control system that pours 1oz or a bar that allows their bartenders to free-pour? That's what I thought!