But noooooo, you don't see Tom Cruise proposing to him, do you?
When he stumbled out of his shopping-cart tent this morning under the Figaroa Street overpass and heard the news, he must have gone all kinds of crazy.
Update, 3:45 p.m.: You don't see this nugget attached to most of the wire stories:
Holmes, who claims to be a virgin, was formerly engaged to 'American Pie' actor Chris Klein but spilt from him in March after five years. [emphasis added]
Where is The Superficial when we need him most?