Friday, October 07, 2005

Monorail!

This James Thayer piece on Seattle's failed monorail project (they already have one monorail, some song and dance guy convinced them they needed another) just tickles me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lyle Lanley:

Well, sir, there's nothing
on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail! ...
What'd I say?

Ned Flanders: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

Patty+Selma: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: That's right!
Monorail!

[crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.

Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.

I swear it's Springfield's only choice...

Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: [singing] Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

All: Monorail!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Monorail!

Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: [singing] Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
[big finish]
Monorail!

Homer: Mono... D'oh!

Anonymous said...

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

miklos rosza said...

I live in Portland, not Seattle, but I've been to the latter many times over the years. Many of my relatives live there. Traffic has gotten so much worse that it's usually the first thing anyone mentions in casual conversation. It's much, much worse than in Portland or Vancouver BC.

Kevin said...

Traffic has gotten so much worse that it's usually the first thing anyone mentions in casual conversation.

True...all too true.

Unfortunately, such genuine problems all too often give rise to boondoggles that help little or not at all.

The fallacy is common enough:

Something must be done!
This is something.
Therefore, it must be done!