"Trump" on Miers

We all knew that Danielle Crittenden was super smart and a great writer, but who knew she could bring the funny? Here she channels Donald Trump's thoughts on the Miers nomination. Think Darrell Hammond while reading:

The President has nominated his longtime assistant, Harriet Miers, to the Supreme Court. He did not ask for my input on this one, nor did I offer it. But as someone who has done a lot of appointing to very important positions within the Trump Organization, I can see why he made the choice he did.

Anyone who has watched my hit TV show, The Apprentice, knows how much I rely on my own assistant, Carolyn Kepcher. She’s as loyal as a Labrador Retriever. In the cut-throat world of high-finance and billion-dollar deals, that kind of loyalty counts for a lot. I feel the same way about Carolyn as the President does about Harriet. I'm comfortable with her and would trust her with any task I assigned her. If you think of the President of the United States as the CEO of an even more global empire than my own—which isn’t to say mine isn’t big, I’m just using an analogy here—then the Supreme Court is like a board of directors. And Harriet Miers is exactly the reliable, trustworthy sort of person any world-class executive would want on his board. . . .

As for the conservatives who object to Harriet Miers: I’m warning you guys. You’re acting like one of the losing teams in my boardroom. I’ve seen this before. Harriet is the quiet, nothing candidate everyone else ignores until the last two or three rounds of the season. Then suddenly everyone looks at her with surprise and asks themselves, “How did she end up here?”

It’s about loyalty, people. And knowing your boss.