Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Butterfly Effect

Anyone watching the World Series these days (and nights) will no doubt have the same concerns as I have about a certain oft-aired advertisement. No, not one for erectile dysfunction. And not one about toe nail fungus or incontinence. This is serious.

I'm talking about Lunesta.

They say if you have trouble falling asleep, if you are up constantly because your mind is too active, then Lunesta might be right for you. But ask your doctor, for side effects may include "unpleasant taste, headache, drowsiness, and dizziness." Also, "Be sure you have at least eight hours to devote to sleep before becoming active. You should not engage in any activity after taking Lunesta that requires complete alertness, such as driving a car or operating machinery. You should use extreme care when engaging in these activities the morning after taking Lunesta. Do not use alcohol while taking any sleep medicine. Most sleep medicines carry some risk of dependency."

But they don't mention how Lunesta works. Unlike some sleeping pills, Lunesta comes in the form of a luminescent green butterfly that appears in the night, flies through your window, and with the slightest touch, puts you "to sleep."

According to the commercials, the Lunesta butterfly goes around the city, patrolling the skies, ready to bring darkness to your world at a moment's notice. Who shall I touch? Whose window is open?

It's no coincidence that Lunesta is glowing and green, much like a Banshee, Dracula, and the Angel of Death. Lunesta is one and the same. And it's coming for you if you don't close that window.


Victorino Matus said...

Dear Damian P.,

In Bram Stoker's Dracula, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, Dracula appears in a variety of forms including young and old, a wolf, a demon, rats, and, yes, green smoke. That was, in fact, how he snuck into bed with Winona Ryder (and how I would too).

Anonymous said...

oh, you just HAD to allude to Digger the Horrible, didn't you. That commercial is so profoundly horrifying . . . now I'll never be able to sleep tonight. if only there were something to help me.

Anonymous said...

Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects the lives of many middle-aged men and their partners to one extent or another. The term erectile dysfunction, previously known as impotence, covers a wide range of disorders, but usually refers to the inability of a man to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient enough to fulfill his own sexual needs or those of his partner.