* "These are wartime Oscars, and they looked it: cheap, tense and cobbled together from graphics rations donated by the E! Channel."
* "Beyoncé, who looked like a chandelier made out of Audrey Hepburns."
* "Wayne Brave proposed that all the little, non-famous, art-and technical-award people should get half-size, mini-Oscars. I felt this would aptly illustrate the eye-rolling derision and exasperated loathing the Academy felt for the people who won these awards this year. Oscar could not bring himself to let these dirty little crew people onstage, perhaps out of some Howard Hughes-like phobia that non-celebrity is contagious. Blanchett and Scarlett Johansson presented the Lesser Awards on various handicap ramps in the auditorium; a subtle semiotic way for the Academy and PricewaterhouseCooper to say, to makeup artists and sound editors, Crawl back to Culver City and fuck yourselves for sucking precious camera time away from Renée."
* "The lowest point of the evening--which was actually the high point, because it was the only thing that sucked hard enough to be actually interesting--was Hispanic Korner, where all the Latinos were quarantined."
* "Don Cheadle was clearly bummed out. Cheadle is a beautiful actor, but he didn't have the personal charisma to out-sexy Jamie Foxx this year. Jamie was very moving, when he won, talking about his recently departed cruel grandmother. Oprah gave him the black power salute, then looked around to see if anyone else was doing it with her. Cheadle wasn't."
This isn't vintage Cintra, but we'll take what we can get. Like I said, it was the worst Oscars ever.